In speaking with a friend who I find I have a lot in common with, we both discovered that there is a search that takes place in our hearts. It can be likened unto the early explorers who discovered the New World by following the flow of water. They came by ocean and some settled on the coast, they went up river and some settled by the river, they went further up to the waterfalls, and some settled there, they went even further up and discovered roaring rapids and some settled there. Some found streams and brooks and there they settled while others found lakes and settled there and still others found hidden tributaries and settled near there. All of us know that without water and its source, we cannot live and therefore cannot live far from it. I have seen that my passion leads me past the depth of the great lakes, the powerfully majestic and awe-inspiring waterfalls, past the serene and peaceful streams, past the expansive coastline, over the thunderous and frothing rapids. I want to go past and beyond the wide and surging undertow of the river. I want the source - the fount, the spring from whence this all flows. Where will that take me? - I just know that I cannot settle in the river valley, on the coastline, within the spray of falling water, or by the joyful brook edge. These are all wonderful places - many should desire these places - I know that I don't.
Pascal once wrote - "Finally, let them recognize that there are two kind of people one can call reasonable; those who serve God with all their heart because they know Him, and those who seek Him with all their heart because they do not know Him."
There was once a princess who grew up in a kingdom that had been ravished by decades of famines, war and plague. One night, as the princess slept she had a dream. In this dream she was walking through the market that lay by the sea, when a young beggar caught her eye. As she turned to face him the young beggar looked up, but before their eyes could meet the dream ended and the princess awoke. As the dream faded a haunting voice arose in her mind that informed her that if she were ever to meet this young man, he would shower her with riches beyond her wildest dreams.
This dream etched itself so deeply on the princess that she carried the vision deep in her heart, until one day, years later, as she walked through the market, her gaze caught hold of the same man who had visited her in her dreams all those years ago. Without pausing she ran up to him and proceeded to relay the whole vision. Never once did he look up, but when the princess had finished her story he reached into an old sack and pulled out a package. Without saying a word, he offered it to the princess and asked her to leave.
Once the princess reached her dilapidated castle she ripped open the package and, sure enough, there was a great wealth of pure gold and precious diamonds. That night she placed the package in a safe place and went to bed. But her mind was in turmoil and the long night was spent in sleepless contemplation. Early the next morning she arose, retrieved the treasures and went down to the water's edge. Once there she summoned up all her strength and threw the riches deep into the sea. After watching the package sink out of sight, she turned and without looking back went searching for the young beggar.
Finally she found him sitting in the shade of an old doorway. The princess approached, held out her hand and placed it under his chin. Then she drew his face towards hers and whispered, "Young man, speak of the wealth you possess which allows you to give away such worldly treasure without a moment's thought."
Peter Rollins in "How (Not) to Speak of God" believes that...
"The desire for transormation was itself (in the story) the means of transformation: the seeking after spiritual wealth was itself the evidence of this wealth's presence."
"Because God...can never be made utterly present, desire is never satisfied in God."
"...if we desire a new car, the desire is fulfilled in its possession: what was previously absent has been made present and thus has satisfied the void which desire had formed...God is never made present in this way: God's presence is always hyper-presence...this is analagous to the idea of a ship sunken...while the ship contains the water and the water contains the ship, the ship only contains a fraction of the water while the water contains the whole of the ship. Our saturation by God does not merely fill us but also testifies to an ocean we cannot contain...desire for God is born in God."
"In love we desire our beloved, indeed the presence of our beloved is that which sparks the desire. This is because the presence of the one we love testifies to the fact that what we know of them is only a fragment of what is still to be discovered...Augustine said, "For certainly nothing can be loved unless it is known...seeking God is not some provisional activity which precedes the goal of finding, but is itself evidence of having already found."
"Rather than desire being fulfilled in the presence of God, religious desire is born there...consequently a genuine seeking after God is evidence of having found...to seek God for eternal life is to seek eternal life, while to seek God for a meaningful existence is to seek a meaningful existence."
"A true seeking after God results fromn experience of God which one falls in love with for no reason other than finding God irresistably lovable. In this way the lovers of God are the ones who are most passionately in search of God."
While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.
When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. "Why this waste?" they asked. "This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."
Aware of this, Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."
-Matthew
If I don't desire what I choose, I am religious
If I desire what I don't choose, I am spiritual
If I desire what I choose, I am visceral, I am me, I am alive...
I desire
I do not create my desire
I do not create my identity
I do not create the void
I do not create
I am to respond to that which is in me
I am to know that which is in me
I am to follow desire but not obey it
It will lead me to Him
If I don't live in the moment, I live in the past,
If I don't live in the past, I live into the future
If I don't live into the future, where am I living.
I want to be alive past anticipation and reflection.
Jesus knows the future
Jesus knows the past
Jesus is with me now
Jesus is...
No comments:
Post a Comment