From Confirmation to Affirmation

How to heal the happy way.  In the history of psychology, the focus has generally been to identify the problem or pathology and then diagnose the problem.  By focusing on the problem and then the solution, it was thought that a person could heal and move on to wholeness and health.

Recently, a movement called, Positive Psychology has critiqued this approach.  Instead of basing one's prognosis of an individual on the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders), a prognosis would be based upon the CSV (Character Strengths and Virtues handbook) and then the DSM could be consulted for a balanced approach.

It seems humanistic because it is.  If stress causes back pains and neurosis, then bravery or love can cause improved health and wholeness - not exclusively but inclusively.

So what does that have to do with Confirmation and Affirmation.  Most who grow up in a faith tradition look to God for "direction" or "confirmation" in their decision making.  This isn't wrong for certain stages of growth in one's journey.  In fact there doesn't need to be a battle between the options.

The pattern we need to look for moves from "Direction," to "Confirmation" to "Affirmation" which then gives the individual in question the ability to eventually give others "Direction," "Confirmation" and "Affirmation."

When we are making decisions that we are praying about, it seems that God works predominantly in each of those categories through different stages in one's life.  It starts early in life with "Direction" (Direct supervision and decision making on behalf of the individual by God), then moves to "Confirmation" (God's final stamp of authority on decisions initiated by us),  and finally to "Affirmation" (God's affirmative nod to decisions initiated, made and qualified by our growth in wisdom).

The predominance of each category throughout stages of our life doesn't exclude the influence of the other two categories.  For instance, if I am at the stage where "Confirmation" is predominant, there will still be decisions that I need to make out of direct obedience (Direction) or out of Wisdom (Affirmation) but they will be fewer than those initiated by me and "Confirmed" by God (Confirmation).

"Jordan  walks up to the counter, gives the cashier his items to purchase and a $20 bill.  The items ring up as $13.57.  The cashier bags the items and hands Jordan $15.43 in change.  Instead of handing Jordan a $5 bill and a $1 bill he hands him a $5 and $10 bill.  Jordan walks outside throws the items in his backseat and notices that there is a $10 bill instead of $1 bill in his hand.  His choice is to take it back or pocket it.  The dilemma begins.  Jordan is 30 years old, has a job and isn't in need of extra money but wonders if the difference of $9 dollars really makes a difference.  15 years earlier as a 15 year old, he would have struggled immensely with what decision to make but he has consistently made the decision to take the money back  over time and now he immediately returns the difference to the cashier and drives off without a second thought about it."

"God is watching over this whole process of decision making and remembers the day when he had to intervene through his Spirit to nudge, push and sometimes drag Jordan towards the right decision.  He smiles and nods affirmatively, looking forward to this growing partnership with Jordan in establishing his kingdom on earth as Jordan drives away.  Jordan's decision at the age of 30 reflects the 'Affirmation' stage of decision making, while his decision at the age of 15, when it was more of a dilemma and struggle to make the same decision, was more in the 'Direction' or 'Confirmation' stage of maturity.  Now God begins the work of nudging Jordan to work with others who are struggling with their maturity and knows more and more that he can trust Jordan and consequently entrust others to Jordan."

How does this process of maturity relate to Positive Psychology?  Well, we need to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses.  Usually we focus on one more than the other and either turn into selfish narcissists or depressed masochists (extreme, I know).  By balancing the awareness of our pathologies and weaknesses with the awareness and cultivation of our Strengths, Character and Virtues, we are able to overwhelm the desire to make destructive decisions.  It is unhealthy to be so aware of your weaknesses and yet ignore your strengths or so aware of your strengths and ignore your weaknesses.  If we hold them in tension, we are able to mature.  We are able to move through the three stages of decision making at a rate that is healthy and normal.  We are able to see our future in a positive light and make brave decisions based upon our strengths or realistic decisions based upon our limits.

Does this sound like positive humanism - it does because it is.  But that's because God has a much more positive view of our humanity and our role in his plan as humans than any of us could ever imagine.  One theme that this blog will consistently draw from is that "God does not want to circumvent Creation, humanity and the institutions cultivated by humanity to accomplish his purposes."  This does not mean that miracles are not true but that miracles are an intervention into God's natural cultivation of humanity, not a normative or an ideal function of how God wants to work.

Next time we'll talk about the groundbreaking book and why this idea from a non-Christian author is so Christ-like.

"Strengthfinders" - the thesis...

"From the cradle to the cubicle, we devote more time to fixing our shortcomings than to developing our strengths."