explanacion

Greetings to readers!

My latest posts have been heavy as a friend has pointed out and though my friend doesn't think that it's wrong to write, my friend did say that I should write something a little more lighter next time. I don't think about how light or heavy the stuff I write is - I just have been writing from my heart lately and even though it may not be agreeable to some, I'm figuring it all out. I only ask that you do not be patient with me, patronize me or pass it off as a rebellious phase that never got to grow up. If any of those are true or needed, it will become clear eventually. I am committed to following a man who used cynicism with harshness and abusive language, loving language and kindness with truth and it was all with a profound wisdom that knew there was a time for everything under the sun. More than anything else it was his words that got him nailed to the cross. I don't ever want to project my image of Christ as having more to do with me than actually who he is, but as we all do at times, I know I have and I know I will. It's part of our identification with him and is a necessary process in order to find the true Christ and our true selves. John Calvin said in the introduction to his Institutes, that as we discover who God is, we discover ourselves and vice versa - the two cannot be separated - they happen organically together at the same time. So as I search my self out and find out who this guy is through the years and search out the person of the Trinity, Christ will help me see more of who I really am and who He is. That's a messy process but I'd rather get as far along in the process and deal with the mess openly than hide it than follow a worn path of security that leads in circles around myself. I want to break trail and take each step onto the soil of my soul, soil that has never been traversed or touched and yet has an anxious longing groan to be discovered, waiting for me to be revealed to me and to the world.

That's a metaphor but with where I feel like God is taking me, I can't know where it will be next, therefore metaphors help me explain something I don't know much about, but it is more real to me than most things are. I just know that I need to leave a lot of where I came from to find it and like a man who searches - his first home is never really his home anymore - he needs to make a new home.

I will write lightly at times, but it will never be forced or from pressure on the outside or inside. I am writing...and will continue to do so. If what I write resonates with you, please be careful with how resonation raptures the conscience with the soul at times, but it's your soul and your conscience, no one elses. If what I write offends you, there are a lot of blogs out there but if you don't mind the offense, please write to me and let me know why, but only if you truly want to hear back from me. If you'd rather just unload upon me - I understand - but one person can't absorb that much anger - spread it out, see a counselor (I do, it's pretty helpful), talk to your friends, write a book, but please don't unload on one person - we're not made with the constitution to absorb that much - only Christ is.

Thank you for your visit and please come again - but please know that this isn't a McBlog - It isn't a franchise and there's very little predictability, though there is nothing wrong with ritual, tradition and fixed expectations as long as they bow out to what they can't account for or control, not bow down to, just bow out to. The stage belongs to the world.

Sincerely and sorrowfully,
Nathan Smith