“Hey modernity – please get over yourself
And help me find myself”
“Hey modernity – you’re cool
But I don’t want to be you”
Hey modernity – I don’t need a crossing guard anymore
But I may need a guide up this treacherous mountain called life
Hey modernity – what you created was great
But I want something better – is that wrong?
Hey modernity – I don’t need anymore mature or moral supeer-irority
How about making it a priority to be a mature mentor, a seasoned peer?
Hey modernity – feeding your mind behind your unfolded daily dose of black and white reality is splendid
But reality for me is on a dynamic multi-colored screen that can have a mind of its own.
Hey modernity – I need you but don’t you need me?
Why are you yelling when you teach instead of crying?
Hey modernity – please don’t rip on my ripped jeans
I know you don’t understand but I bought them that way
Hey modernity – if you yell at me, you might lose your voice
If you give me apathy, I might turn to my toys.
If you scorn me, all I might hear is noise
If you detach from me, doesn’t that take away my choice?
Do you want a voice that isn’t noise that gives me a choice instead of my toys
Listen in, come on in, but please knock on the door
I don’t want you to be me – but will you be with me - where I'm at?
Will you read this unmetered poem
And wonder why I don't always bother to rhyme
Or dismiss my rebellious adolescence and wait until I become sublime?
(sublime = of high moral or intellectual value; elevated in nature or style; "an exalted ideal")
I need you to be you
I want you to be you
But I will never be you.
Hey modernity - I'm postmodern
I guess that means that I'm post-you
Ten years ago I never thought I would post about being "post"
Did you?
-Nathan Smith (kind of)
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Tobiaaaas and Naaaate - Part 3 - facebook pollination with the blogosphere
Tobias: hey nate, here are my thoughts. feel free to disagree. The more western society becomes dependant upon the logic of 19th century criticism, the more people will divorce themselves from the 'evangelical solutions' found within modern apologetics. Essentially, the church will be forced to accept a theory of blind faith in trying to reconcile the internal and historical ambiguities resulting in apparent theological inconsistencies.
What i've noticed nate is that the questions are getting tougher and every century the church is finding it hard to provide sufficient explanations not for the existence of God, but for the claim that Christianity provides that quintessential element to spiritual fullfilment. Prevarication and the unpopularity of Christianity in mwc is largely the result of the church providing insufficient evidence to provide valid answers (and even solutions) to lifes contradictions.
The post modern solution is to increase transparency; affirm the humanity of the church and admit its philisophical handicaps. But then, where does the church go from here? some explanation is needed to delieneate these apparent weakness and ambiguities. Remember, who are audience is.
Nate: As in Scripture - we are taught to respond to the activity of God, not generate it, apologize for it, encaspsulate it, etc... The only one who was, is and will be and can handle living in the past, present and future is the Trinity - we are incapable of that so we are called to live in the present only. Room for existentialism? There has to be? Should we acquiesce to it? Nope - don't have to. The Church is an embodied image that has its existence and being based upon a contingent Person - all we can do is be responsive (which doesn't mean uncreative or unimaginative) it just means that nothing is new under the sun of the cosmos - so is it our fault that we don't know everything. Our reality is not filled with a void of God but a super-saturation hyper-presence that invokes all of the ambiguity that we can handle. That ambiguity then becomes a "positive" ambiguity that provides us with the paradoxes that seem to rail against our existence but in actuality our existence
...as fallen created creatures (imago Dei) rails against the paradoxes because they exist in our perception as the reality of God's existence and therefore - we respond to them - we don't own them, we can't control them and we aren't responsible to explain them all - only to respond and participate in ambiguity.
Therefore the paradoxes that produce ambiguity are "positive" from God's point of view because they create a longing for something "more" beyond our circumstance and knowledge - something that only God can satisfy, but never completely. New Heaven, New Earth = uninihibited learning and exploration of truth without the "negative" effects of the fall. Paradoxes will will be the school of learning becuase fear will not exist and yet today paradoxes produce fear and a sense of not being in control. That is the human condition that perpetuates manipulation and sinful rebellion - not being in control. Therefore the postmodern condition has elevated the "positive" aspect of our finite limitations as humans but also has made it possible to be convicted in our hearts of the rage that we have against our fallen condition. We know that we can discover through the trajectory of paradoxes, but are unable to be leashed upon those paradoxes because of our innumerable frustrations with the...
(we are no longer able to be okay with paradoxes as a result of the Fall, but only in sin not as image bearers who still have undeniable imprints of God's image upon us, regenerate or unregenerate. Though the regenerates have a better advantage to reverse the Fall's effect in the here and now, though not exclusively. But after the new humanity begins, we will be okay with paradox as a result of our redeemed imago Dei. Paradox and ambiguity will not disappear but we will be able to desire it as source of education and discovery without walls. This gives new meaning then to the Lord's prayer in that we are called to bring the reality of Heaven to Earth and bring God's will to a broken planet, not just justice, mercy and righteousness but right learning, thinking and the discovery of the "other" as it pertains to Creation, ourselves, fellow humanity and the Trinity.)
limitations that Adam placed upon us through his sin and the inability to explore truth with hearts ablaze for it and a capacity to discover it at every turn. Our dormant discovery potential is what is railing against our present fallenness and the desire to know God, not fully, but in full capacity of our God given ability to know Him (which will never be exhausted but has the ability to be unhindered) is the desire of all mankind and yet we are inhibited and hate it because we are capable of so much more. Postmodernity says "there is more, never give up and never be fully satisfied and humble yourself under your limitations but don't give up on discovery and the exploration and necessary moving our your moorings." Modernity says, "here are the answers, don't ask unnecessary or flitting questions, accept the system, fit your part into the machine, there is a cause and there is an effect, it's that simple, why don't you just accept it and then go into the sleep or slumber of apathy,
play your role and then just die?"
Inductive thesis: The New Humanity in the New Heaven and Earth needs to be okay with eternal internal contradictions, tension and paradox - it is the eternal perpetual state of perfection to always be learning truth. Truth is a Person - the discovery of any person is an inexhaustable well of discovery that our hearts really long to keep discovering. If you ever finished discovering your wife - you would cease to long for her in some aspect or maybe in total. The new humanity will be in the constant flux of discovery through paradox, experience, teaching and interaction with the Logos and His Community of which we've been invited into. We are therefore called to that which produces longing; but confusion was introduced in the Fall and truth became juxtaposed to its opposite - deception. No longer does the world long for truth as a discovery but they mourn the inability to do so rightly and therefore embrace deception from the sinful desire to be in control. (certitude vs. assurance)
Addendum: Mundus vult decipi - the world wants to be deceived (Walter Kaufmann). It's a much easier life as in a baby who sees a rattle in front of their face. Then when the rattle is taken from their face - the rattle no longer exists, until it is brought into the scope of their vision again. You see, the reality of the rattle is only cognizant from their perspective. This smacks of the complaints of postmodernism more than postmodernism accounts for. Modernism say that the problem is that p.m.'s claim truth is relative. P.m.'s claim that modernists believe that truth is only relative if it affects them or they can see it or believe from a verified source of authority. P.m. says that there are truths and levels of reality out there that we aren't aware of and as a result we are situated in a relative cicumstance that doesn't allow us to access all that can be known and therefore we are incredibly limited and small in the broad scope of reality and we need the "other" more than ever before. God hasn't given you everything you need to have to understand reality but He has given you all that is needed to be introduced to the Person of Truth wherein reality lies, but it then loses its focii on propositions and becomes an adventerous discovery of who Truth is as a person and then and only then can propositions be formulated. But any formulation of proposistions about Truth are subject to the continual pattern of Truth's forward momentum of discovery - therefore creating a lifestyle for us of a hermeneutical spiral - reconfiguring our belief system based upon being introduced to a new element that effects all of my known reality. Modernity claims that we know enough and we have the tools to know enough and there doesn't need to be much more said about it or there doesn't need to be any more major changes - only remodeling the existing structure as is needed. (This is anti-Biblical and doesn't follow the flow of redemptive history as it has progressed and continues to do so.)
Modernity is the baby with the rattle who believes in presuppositionalism but not in the limitless possibilities that exist beyond them and the presuppostions they've been offered. The reality to them is that the rattle only exists because it came into the view of their perspective. Once it is gone, it is irrelevent. P.M. says that there is a reality that exists beyond my perspective that I cannot contain explain or ignore and it has an effect upon my perspective that I cannot control, whether larger or great. It has an effect that I am unable to account for - therefore I need the "other" and I cannot fully account for reality from my perspective.
This is seen in the example of the blind men who are situated around the body of an elephant and are called upon to describe the elephant as an elephant. All of them will have a different perspective and diagnosis of truth on their own, but together they can describe most of what that elephant is like. The Fall created a rift in those relationships so that each blind man argues with the "other" blind man about the reality of his elephant and what it actually looks like as well as with the Creator of the elephant. The reversal of that is to bring each blind man back into fellowship with each other and with the Creator of the elephant - the ministry of reconciliation so that they can describe the elephant, though incompletely and not altogether coherent, they are able to do so much more together than on their own along with the aiding and direction of the illusive yet hyper-present Creator of the elephant. It would be impossible for the Creator of the elephant to give an exhaustive explanation and inutitive tacit knowledge of the elephant to the blind men, becuase then they would be equal in their existence, ability and power as it corresponded to the Creator of the elephant. The longer they spend with each other and the elephant the better descriptors they can come up with.
There is also the aspect of the understanding of my reality being on a continuum of discovery interconnected with my ability to be more aware and more mature in dealing with my awareness (maturity/life experience/ experiential tacit knowledge).
So is truth relative or is your cirumstance relative to truth (as whole)?
Who then is the real relativist, the one who recognizes that there is a reality beyond their perspective and seeks to honor that reality instead of just their own available perspective or is it the one who only acquiesces to that which has entered their perspective and can be contained within their field of vision. Reality to the second person is only that which is then centered upon their field of vision and their ability to describe what should be believed based upon their field of vision.
The question then is, are we responsible for that which is not available to our perspective? - the p.m. bellows YES because it requires us to depend upon the "other" and produces a lifestyle that has to exist in the place of need and dependence upon the "other" and can never exist in isolation.
The modernist claims that if there is a different perspective than their own, it exists to either be disagreed with, destroyed, as an antagonist to help me build my protaginism (strengthen my condition based upon on the challenge but weakness of yours) or as a perspective that I might have to obey, aquiesce to or completely shift towards while losing most or all of what distinguished my prior perspective and afforded me my differentiation from the "other".
P.M. says, Keep your differentiation, but bring it to the table of dialogue and discovery and let it contribute to the whole of reality that is beyond us all in our perspectives, positions, and situated circumstances. This is one of the most pertinent forms of reconciliation that our world needs to discover as it pertains to the Kingdom of God. With this we can invest in a kingdom that we participate in but is beyond our own selves instead of building our own kingdom securely in order to distinguish ourselves as better and more in touch with Reality than the "other." None of us has that advantage.
Who then is in danger of being the real relativist and which form of relativity is the most dangerous - honoring it, ignoring it, fighting against it, becoming apathetic towards it, etc...?
God is sovereign and controls the flow of history as well as what is unfolding now as it hasn't ever before. Can we trust Him to do that among us and allow Truth to be what it is on its own terms?
Future considerations:
1. Why did Adam, Eve and Lucifer choose to deceive themselves when there wasn't any brokenness as a propensity to deal with? They just chose to disobey out of a perfect and unbroken relatedness to God.
What i've noticed nate is that the questions are getting tougher and every century the church is finding it hard to provide sufficient explanations not for the existence of God, but for the claim that Christianity provides that quintessential element to spiritual fullfilment. Prevarication and the unpopularity of Christianity in mwc is largely the result of the church providing insufficient evidence to provide valid answers (and even solutions) to lifes contradictions.
The post modern solution is to increase transparency; affirm the humanity of the church and admit its philisophical handicaps. But then, where does the church go from here? some explanation is needed to delieneate these apparent weakness and ambiguities. Remember, who are audience is.
Nate: As in Scripture - we are taught to respond to the activity of God, not generate it, apologize for it, encaspsulate it, etc... The only one who was, is and will be and can handle living in the past, present and future is the Trinity - we are incapable of that so we are called to live in the present only. Room for existentialism? There has to be? Should we acquiesce to it? Nope - don't have to. The Church is an embodied image that has its existence and being based upon a contingent Person - all we can do is be responsive (which doesn't mean uncreative or unimaginative) it just means that nothing is new under the sun of the cosmos - so is it our fault that we don't know everything. Our reality is not filled with a void of God but a super-saturation hyper-presence that invokes all of the ambiguity that we can handle. That ambiguity then becomes a "positive" ambiguity that provides us with the paradoxes that seem to rail against our existence but in actuality our existence
...as fallen created creatures (imago Dei) rails against the paradoxes because they exist in our perception as the reality of God's existence and therefore - we respond to them - we don't own them, we can't control them and we aren't responsible to explain them all - only to respond and participate in ambiguity.
Therefore the paradoxes that produce ambiguity are "positive" from God's point of view because they create a longing for something "more" beyond our circumstance and knowledge - something that only God can satisfy, but never completely. New Heaven, New Earth = uninihibited learning and exploration of truth without the "negative" effects of the fall. Paradoxes will will be the school of learning becuase fear will not exist and yet today paradoxes produce fear and a sense of not being in control. That is the human condition that perpetuates manipulation and sinful rebellion - not being in control. Therefore the postmodern condition has elevated the "positive" aspect of our finite limitations as humans but also has made it possible to be convicted in our hearts of the rage that we have against our fallen condition. We know that we can discover through the trajectory of paradoxes, but are unable to be leashed upon those paradoxes because of our innumerable frustrations with the...
(we are no longer able to be okay with paradoxes as a result of the Fall, but only in sin not as image bearers who still have undeniable imprints of God's image upon us, regenerate or unregenerate. Though the regenerates have a better advantage to reverse the Fall's effect in the here and now, though not exclusively. But after the new humanity begins, we will be okay with paradox as a result of our redeemed imago Dei. Paradox and ambiguity will not disappear but we will be able to desire it as source of education and discovery without walls. This gives new meaning then to the Lord's prayer in that we are called to bring the reality of Heaven to Earth and bring God's will to a broken planet, not just justice, mercy and righteousness but right learning, thinking and the discovery of the "other" as it pertains to Creation, ourselves, fellow humanity and the Trinity.)
limitations that Adam placed upon us through his sin and the inability to explore truth with hearts ablaze for it and a capacity to discover it at every turn. Our dormant discovery potential is what is railing against our present fallenness and the desire to know God, not fully, but in full capacity of our God given ability to know Him (which will never be exhausted but has the ability to be unhindered) is the desire of all mankind and yet we are inhibited and hate it because we are capable of so much more. Postmodernity says "there is more, never give up and never be fully satisfied and humble yourself under your limitations but don't give up on discovery and the exploration and necessary moving our your moorings." Modernity says, "here are the answers, don't ask unnecessary or flitting questions, accept the system, fit your part into the machine, there is a cause and there is an effect, it's that simple, why don't you just accept it and then go into the sleep or slumber of apathy,
play your role and then just die?"
Inductive thesis: The New Humanity in the New Heaven and Earth needs to be okay with eternal internal contradictions, tension and paradox - it is the eternal perpetual state of perfection to always be learning truth. Truth is a Person - the discovery of any person is an inexhaustable well of discovery that our hearts really long to keep discovering. If you ever finished discovering your wife - you would cease to long for her in some aspect or maybe in total. The new humanity will be in the constant flux of discovery through paradox, experience, teaching and interaction with the Logos and His Community of which we've been invited into. We are therefore called to that which produces longing; but confusion was introduced in the Fall and truth became juxtaposed to its opposite - deception. No longer does the world long for truth as a discovery but they mourn the inability to do so rightly and therefore embrace deception from the sinful desire to be in control. (certitude vs. assurance)
Addendum: Mundus vult decipi - the world wants to be deceived (Walter Kaufmann). It's a much easier life as in a baby who sees a rattle in front of their face. Then when the rattle is taken from their face - the rattle no longer exists, until it is brought into the scope of their vision again. You see, the reality of the rattle is only cognizant from their perspective. This smacks of the complaints of postmodernism more than postmodernism accounts for. Modernism say that the problem is that p.m.'s claim truth is relative. P.m.'s claim that modernists believe that truth is only relative if it affects them or they can see it or believe from a verified source of authority. P.m. says that there are truths and levels of reality out there that we aren't aware of and as a result we are situated in a relative cicumstance that doesn't allow us to access all that can be known and therefore we are incredibly limited and small in the broad scope of reality and we need the "other" more than ever before. God hasn't given you everything you need to have to understand reality but He has given you all that is needed to be introduced to the Person of Truth wherein reality lies, but it then loses its focii on propositions and becomes an adventerous discovery of who Truth is as a person and then and only then can propositions be formulated. But any formulation of proposistions about Truth are subject to the continual pattern of Truth's forward momentum of discovery - therefore creating a lifestyle for us of a hermeneutical spiral - reconfiguring our belief system based upon being introduced to a new element that effects all of my known reality. Modernity claims that we know enough and we have the tools to know enough and there doesn't need to be much more said about it or there doesn't need to be any more major changes - only remodeling the existing structure as is needed. (This is anti-Biblical and doesn't follow the flow of redemptive history as it has progressed and continues to do so.)
Modernity is the baby with the rattle who believes in presuppositionalism but not in the limitless possibilities that exist beyond them and the presuppostions they've been offered. The reality to them is that the rattle only exists because it came into the view of their perspective. Once it is gone, it is irrelevent. P.M. says that there is a reality that exists beyond my perspective that I cannot contain explain or ignore and it has an effect upon my perspective that I cannot control, whether larger or great. It has an effect that I am unable to account for - therefore I need the "other" and I cannot fully account for reality from my perspective.
This is seen in the example of the blind men who are situated around the body of an elephant and are called upon to describe the elephant as an elephant. All of them will have a different perspective and diagnosis of truth on their own, but together they can describe most of what that elephant is like. The Fall created a rift in those relationships so that each blind man argues with the "other" blind man about the reality of his elephant and what it actually looks like as well as with the Creator of the elephant. The reversal of that is to bring each blind man back into fellowship with each other and with the Creator of the elephant - the ministry of reconciliation so that they can describe the elephant, though incompletely and not altogether coherent, they are able to do so much more together than on their own along with the aiding and direction of the illusive yet hyper-present Creator of the elephant. It would be impossible for the Creator of the elephant to give an exhaustive explanation and inutitive tacit knowledge of the elephant to the blind men, becuase then they would be equal in their existence, ability and power as it corresponded to the Creator of the elephant. The longer they spend with each other and the elephant the better descriptors they can come up with.
There is also the aspect of the understanding of my reality being on a continuum of discovery interconnected with my ability to be more aware and more mature in dealing with my awareness (maturity/life experience/ experiential tacit knowledge).
So is truth relative or is your cirumstance relative to truth (as whole)?
Who then is the real relativist, the one who recognizes that there is a reality beyond their perspective and seeks to honor that reality instead of just their own available perspective or is it the one who only acquiesces to that which has entered their perspective and can be contained within their field of vision. Reality to the second person is only that which is then centered upon their field of vision and their ability to describe what should be believed based upon their field of vision.
The question then is, are we responsible for that which is not available to our perspective? - the p.m. bellows YES because it requires us to depend upon the "other" and produces a lifestyle that has to exist in the place of need and dependence upon the "other" and can never exist in isolation.
The modernist claims that if there is a different perspective than their own, it exists to either be disagreed with, destroyed, as an antagonist to help me build my protaginism (strengthen my condition based upon on the challenge but weakness of yours) or as a perspective that I might have to obey, aquiesce to or completely shift towards while losing most or all of what distinguished my prior perspective and afforded me my differentiation from the "other".
P.M. says, Keep your differentiation, but bring it to the table of dialogue and discovery and let it contribute to the whole of reality that is beyond us all in our perspectives, positions, and situated circumstances. This is one of the most pertinent forms of reconciliation that our world needs to discover as it pertains to the Kingdom of God. With this we can invest in a kingdom that we participate in but is beyond our own selves instead of building our own kingdom securely in order to distinguish ourselves as better and more in touch with Reality than the "other." None of us has that advantage.
Who then is in danger of being the real relativist and which form of relativity is the most dangerous - honoring it, ignoring it, fighting against it, becoming apathetic towards it, etc...?
God is sovereign and controls the flow of history as well as what is unfolding now as it hasn't ever before. Can we trust Him to do that among us and allow Truth to be what it is on its own terms?
Future considerations:
1. Why did Adam, Eve and Lucifer choose to deceive themselves when there wasn't any brokenness as a propensity to deal with? They just chose to disobey out of a perfect and unbroken relatedness to God.
Nate and Tobias or Nate vs. Tobias - crackilatin' on fasheezy bookmeezy
Nate: emphasis on "the" ? (the eschaton)
Tobias: I say 'the' in defiance of the spiritual or preterist view marking modern eschatalogy. My conviction is still bent on that one cataclysmic event marking the consumation of time and history. In essence, i still believe in a future apocalypse and the literal return of Christ second comming (not rapture).
Nate: I;m with you baby. The Day of the Lord as it is developed in the prophets is something that I've been hitting since the beginning of the year but it has so many dimensions to it. Desolation and reward, etc.... very interesting stuff. This isn't the stuff that is easy to discuss with people.
Tobias: You're right, its not easy to discuss. But as a friend and great prophet once said, "we have to learn to embrace the ambiguities." - Nathan Smith...: )
miss you bro
Nate: Check this out - Kierkegaard wrote about paradoxes (ambiguity) and said, "The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are nothing else than grandiose thoughts in embryo."
This is an excerpt from the book, An Emergent Manifesto of Hope and the chapter is called, Orthoparadoxy in place of orthodoxy/orthopraxis. Excellent stuff!
The Trinity is the best example of orthoparadoxy!
My way of existing conveys my final answer. - Levinas or as Jacques Ellul put it, "The movement of faith is unceasing because no explanation it offers is ever finished." That's from the prophets as it relates to eschatological fulfillment.
"It would seem very strange that Christianity should have come into the world just to receive an explanation" - Kierkegaard
Tobias: ....
Tobias: I say 'the' in defiance of the spiritual or preterist view marking modern eschatalogy. My conviction is still bent on that one cataclysmic event marking the consumation of time and history. In essence, i still believe in a future apocalypse and the literal return of Christ second comming (not rapture).
Nate: I;m with you baby. The Day of the Lord as it is developed in the prophets is something that I've been hitting since the beginning of the year but it has so many dimensions to it. Desolation and reward, etc.... very interesting stuff. This isn't the stuff that is easy to discuss with people.
Tobias: You're right, its not easy to discuss. But as a friend and great prophet once said, "we have to learn to embrace the ambiguities." - Nathan Smith...: )
miss you bro
Nate: Check this out - Kierkegaard wrote about paradoxes (ambiguity) and said, "The paradox is really the pathos of intellectual life and just as only great souls are exposed to passions it is only the great thinker who is exposed to what I call paradoxes, which are nothing else than grandiose thoughts in embryo."
This is an excerpt from the book, An Emergent Manifesto of Hope and the chapter is called, Orthoparadoxy in place of orthodoxy/orthopraxis. Excellent stuff!
The Trinity is the best example of orthoparadoxy!
My way of existing conveys my final answer. - Levinas or as Jacques Ellul put it, "The movement of faith is unceasing because no explanation it offers is ever finished." That's from the prophets as it relates to eschatological fulfillment.
"It would seem very strange that Christianity should have come into the world just to receive an explanation" - Kierkegaard
Tobias: ....
Tobias vs. Nate or Tobias and Nate...more forthcoming
Tobias: "He's so dope - better than the pope, better than soap on a rope, better than a Republican hope (ful)...."
Dude, i'm a start callin you "pastor run dmc". You're one hilarious brother. we miss you man. I hear through the grapevine you're a pastor now. Never would have pictured it, but you definetly have the gift to gab : )
love and respect chief
Nate: Tobi, hit me wit your digitees before I get real figitee and call up some killer midget please - like that one cheesee maneez?
Tobias: Platinum brother : )
Nate: bro, I hope you didn't miss the locution in your perlocution - I want your PHONE NUMBER so that I can find out how ya'll are doing. I just had George, Drena and Mark here overnight. Was good to see them. He said that you and him had time together. I sang your praises with him and he told me you guys were off to Portugal maybe. Blessings bro!
Tobias: hey nathan, since you like to rhyme, i thought i'd send my digits so we both can shine, on the telephone. sINCE thats where we belong. Speaking the-a-logicly in a diffrent tong! dangggggg! that boi snapped (:
Nate: let me excuse myself so I can go put that on the shelf, I rock hard but that's too much wealth - you gotta stop ma man before your cheddar becomes that rockafella - and you forget alllllllll us small people. Holla...
Tobias: I'll have to do an exegesis on that last rhyme, you sorta blew my mind. so until next time, continue to shine, like a penny or a dime, because my women is fine, and she says 'hey nate, dont playa hate'
peace : )
love you bro
Nate: ...
Dude, i'm a start callin you "pastor run dmc". You're one hilarious brother. we miss you man. I hear through the grapevine you're a pastor now. Never would have pictured it, but you definetly have the gift to gab : )
love and respect chief
Nate: Tobi, hit me wit your digitees before I get real figitee and call up some killer midget please - like that one cheesee maneez?
Tobias: Platinum brother : )
Nate: bro, I hope you didn't miss the locution in your perlocution - I want your PHONE NUMBER so that I can find out how ya'll are doing. I just had George, Drena and Mark here overnight. Was good to see them. He said that you and him had time together. I sang your praises with him and he told me you guys were off to Portugal maybe. Blessings bro!
Tobias: hey nathan, since you like to rhyme, i thought i'd send my digits so we both can shine, on the telephone. sINCE thats where we belong. Speaking the-a-logicly in a diffrent tong! dangggggg! that boi snapped (:
Nate: let me excuse myself so I can go put that on the shelf, I rock hard but that's too much wealth - you gotta stop ma man before your cheddar becomes that rockafella - and you forget alllllllll us small people. Holla...
Tobias: I'll have to do an exegesis on that last rhyme, you sorta blew my mind. so until next time, continue to shine, like a penny or a dime, because my women is fine, and she says 'hey nate, dont playa hate'
peace : )
love you bro
Nate: ...
Thursday, March 20, 2008
competition vs. composing
Competition vs. Forming others (composing)
outlets for our training vs. competition with peers. If we focus on developing ourselves
People want you to be yourself and not what they expect you to be
We are named by those who are not of us; we do not name ourselves.
outlets for our training vs. competition with peers. If we focus on developing ourselves
People want you to be yourself and not what they expect you to be
We are named by those who are not of us; we do not name ourselves.
Jackie boy
“If you’re ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear, don’t stop and think of what other words have ‘under’ in them, because that’s probably the first sign of jungle madness.”
—Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
—Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
Africa Emerging
This is an excerpt from a Brian McClaren website that I found. It explains so much of what I saw when I was there. There are going to be just as many disillusioned Christians over there as there are over here. What will be the next phase of mission? What will it look like? Will it be moored in the foundations of the traditional Church that preaches salvation by faith alone and wants to get bigger buildings built...read on as he begins with a question about the Church...
"Is that gospel a message of evacuation – how God will airlift some of us out of this world and its problems, how God wants us to huddle in a holy warehouse between now and then, enjoying blessings and the joys of a church subculture? Or is that gospel a call to incarnation and transformation, to live out the message of God’s kingdom so we, like salt and light, like yeast in bread or seeds in soil, bring new possibilities to our world?"
Benny Hinn posters everywhere. “We like Benny Hinn,” a Ugandan member of parliament told me. “He gives our people hope. They feel that they are locked in poverty, but Benny tells them that God can bless them.” What if their hopes are raised at the crusade and then nothing changes? I ask. “Then they are disillusioned,” he adds, implying that their post-crusade disillusionment is no worse than their pre-crusade despair. I see his point, but still wonder
A Ugandan man tells us that the ever-present local Benny wannabe’s promise healing from HIV if only the infected will give the “man of God” their car or home or property. When they “sow their seed” and the promised healing or prosperity doesn’t come, a backlog of disillusioned people accumulates. Sometimes they become angry, so the prosperity preachers have to spend some of their own prosperity on armed guards. TIA.
In Nairobi, our group visited two slums, the famous Kibera (featured in “The Constant Gardener”), and a smaller but equally poor “second hand slum” nearby. A small Pentecostal church of about 60 people, City Harvest, led by Pastor Charles, does more in these slums than many “prosperity churches” of multiple thousands, incarnating the gospel in the form of an HIV clinic and support groups in the slums for those living with AIDS. One afternoon, our group of about 20 gathered in a tiny, dark, corrugated tin hut, one dead light bulb hanging from the ceiling, the only illumination coming in through the open door and from the half-circles where tin meets tin. We listened to stories of women living with HIV, single and abandoned mothers bearing burdens none of us can imagine, and we could hardly talk, eyes brimming and throats choked up not simply by sadness, but also by beauty: at least one church is here, we thought. At least one pastor and those he has trained care and walk among these people in this black muck and desperate need, and that is beautiful beyond words.
Two nights later, I was with a group of about a dozen young Kenyans at the opposite end of the spectrum: lawyers, doctors, business owners, engineers, teachers, workers with NGO’s. I could have been with any group of young adults in Stockholm, London, Santiago, Seattle, or Boston. Too often, the conventional church was no longer working for these educated young Africans. It focused on getting souls saved, building bigger buildings, and attracting bigger crowds, but its gospel ignored the systemic injustice, corruption, poverty, violence, and suffering in which these young adults had come of age. One young woman told me, “I work at an NGO that is staffed by young Kenyans like myself. All of us grew up in the church, but not one of my colleagues identifies himself as a Christian. They call themselves agnostics or atheists. But it is the god of the personal prosperity gospel that they have rejected. Their desire to make a difference shows that they really have faith in a God that nobody talks about – the God who cares about justice, poverty, oppression, and suffering.”
..
Back in Uganda, a young woman talks with me. She too has been to college, and she too loves God but is seeking for an understanding of the gospel and church that makes more sense in today’s Africa. “Do you really have hope that the church can change?” she asks. “Yes,” I tell her, and recount stories of churches that are living out a transformational, incarnational, integral gospel around the world. She doesn’t smile. She’s seen too many religious promises and too much religious hype and experienced too much disillusionment. She’ll wait and see if anything comes of our conference
Something will come. I could feel it as we sang and danced together with joy before God. The resilience of Africans is a sign of resurrection, a joy that moves the feet and a faith that can move mountains. The air vibrates with it, hums with it, like the cloud of dragonflies that hover around us as we walk together on red African soil.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Ad Fontes
In speaking with a friend who I find I have a lot in common with, we both discovered that there is a search that takes place in our hearts. It can be likened unto the early explorers who discovered the New World by following the flow of water. They came by ocean and some settled on the coast, they went up river and some settled by the river, they went further up to the waterfalls, and some settled there, they went even further up and discovered roaring rapids and some settled there. Some found streams and brooks and there they settled while others found lakes and settled there and still others found hidden tributaries and settled near there. All of us know that without water and its source, we cannot live and therefore cannot live far from it. I have seen that my passion leads me past the depth of the great lakes, the powerfully majestic and awe-inspiring waterfalls, past the serene and peaceful streams, past the expansive coastline, over the thunderous and frothing rapids. I want to go past and beyond the wide and surging undertow of the river. I want the source - the fount, the spring from whence this all flows. Where will that take me? - I just know that I cannot settle in the river valley, on the coastline, within the spray of falling water, or by the joyful brook edge. These are all wonderful places - many should desire these places - I know that I don't.
Pascal once wrote - "Finally, let them recognize that there are two kind of people one can call reasonable; those who serve God with all their heart because they know Him, and those who seek Him with all their heart because they do not know Him."
There was once a princess who grew up in a kingdom that had been ravished by decades of famines, war and plague. One night, as the princess slept she had a dream. In this dream she was walking through the market that lay by the sea, when a young beggar caught her eye. As she turned to face him the young beggar looked up, but before their eyes could meet the dream ended and the princess awoke. As the dream faded a haunting voice arose in her mind that informed her that if she were ever to meet this young man, he would shower her with riches beyond her wildest dreams.
This dream etched itself so deeply on the princess that she carried the vision deep in her heart, until one day, years later, as she walked through the market, her gaze caught hold of the same man who had visited her in her dreams all those years ago. Without pausing she ran up to him and proceeded to relay the whole vision. Never once did he look up, but when the princess had finished her story he reached into an old sack and pulled out a package. Without saying a word, he offered it to the princess and asked her to leave.
Once the princess reached her dilapidated castle she ripped open the package and, sure enough, there was a great wealth of pure gold and precious diamonds. That night she placed the package in a safe place and went to bed. But her mind was in turmoil and the long night was spent in sleepless contemplation. Early the next morning she arose, retrieved the treasures and went down to the water's edge. Once there she summoned up all her strength and threw the riches deep into the sea. After watching the package sink out of sight, she turned and without looking back went searching for the young beggar.
Finally she found him sitting in the shade of an old doorway. The princess approached, held out her hand and placed it under his chin. Then she drew his face towards hers and whispered, "Young man, speak of the wealth you possess which allows you to give away such worldly treasure without a moment's thought."
Peter Rollins in "How (Not) to Speak of God" believes that...
"The desire for transormation was itself (in the story) the means of transformation: the seeking after spiritual wealth was itself the evidence of this wealth's presence."
"Because God...can never be made utterly present, desire is never satisfied in God."
"...if we desire a new car, the desire is fulfilled in its possession: what was previously absent has been made present and thus has satisfied the void which desire had formed...God is never made present in this way: God's presence is always hyper-presence...this is analagous to the idea of a ship sunken...while the ship contains the water and the water contains the ship, the ship only contains a fraction of the water while the water contains the whole of the ship. Our saturation by God does not merely fill us but also testifies to an ocean we cannot contain...desire for God is born in God."
"In love we desire our beloved, indeed the presence of our beloved is that which sparks the desire. This is because the presence of the one we love testifies to the fact that what we know of them is only a fragment of what is still to be discovered...Augustine said, "For certainly nothing can be loved unless it is known...seeking God is not some provisional activity which precedes the goal of finding, but is itself evidence of having already found."
"Rather than desire being fulfilled in the presence of God, religious desire is born there...consequently a genuine seeking after God is evidence of having found...to seek God for eternal life is to seek eternal life, while to seek God for a meaningful existence is to seek a meaningful existence."
"A true seeking after God results fromn experience of God which one falls in love with for no reason other than finding God irresistably lovable. In this way the lovers of God are the ones who are most passionately in search of God."
While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.
When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. "Why this waste?" they asked. "This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."
Aware of this, Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."
-Matthew
If I don't desire what I choose, I am religious
If I desire what I don't choose, I am spiritual
If I desire what I choose, I am visceral, I am me, I am alive...
I desire
I do not create my desire
I do not create my identity
I do not create the void
I do not create
I am to respond to that which is in me
I am to know that which is in me
I am to follow desire but not obey it
It will lead me to Him
If I don't live in the moment, I live in the past,
If I don't live in the past, I live into the future
If I don't live into the future, where am I living.
I want to be alive past anticipation and reflection.
Jesus knows the future
Jesus knows the past
Jesus is with me now
Jesus is...
Pascal once wrote - "Finally, let them recognize that there are two kind of people one can call reasonable; those who serve God with all their heart because they know Him, and those who seek Him with all their heart because they do not know Him."
There was once a princess who grew up in a kingdom that had been ravished by decades of famines, war and plague. One night, as the princess slept she had a dream. In this dream she was walking through the market that lay by the sea, when a young beggar caught her eye. As she turned to face him the young beggar looked up, but before their eyes could meet the dream ended and the princess awoke. As the dream faded a haunting voice arose in her mind that informed her that if she were ever to meet this young man, he would shower her with riches beyond her wildest dreams.
This dream etched itself so deeply on the princess that she carried the vision deep in her heart, until one day, years later, as she walked through the market, her gaze caught hold of the same man who had visited her in her dreams all those years ago. Without pausing she ran up to him and proceeded to relay the whole vision. Never once did he look up, but when the princess had finished her story he reached into an old sack and pulled out a package. Without saying a word, he offered it to the princess and asked her to leave.
Once the princess reached her dilapidated castle she ripped open the package and, sure enough, there was a great wealth of pure gold and precious diamonds. That night she placed the package in a safe place and went to bed. But her mind was in turmoil and the long night was spent in sleepless contemplation. Early the next morning she arose, retrieved the treasures and went down to the water's edge. Once there she summoned up all her strength and threw the riches deep into the sea. After watching the package sink out of sight, she turned and without looking back went searching for the young beggar.
Finally she found him sitting in the shade of an old doorway. The princess approached, held out her hand and placed it under his chin. Then she drew his face towards hers and whispered, "Young man, speak of the wealth you possess which allows you to give away such worldly treasure without a moment's thought."
Peter Rollins in "How (Not) to Speak of God" believes that...
"The desire for transormation was itself (in the story) the means of transformation: the seeking after spiritual wealth was itself the evidence of this wealth's presence."
"Because God...can never be made utterly present, desire is never satisfied in God."
"...if we desire a new car, the desire is fulfilled in its possession: what was previously absent has been made present and thus has satisfied the void which desire had formed...God is never made present in this way: God's presence is always hyper-presence...this is analagous to the idea of a ship sunken...while the ship contains the water and the water contains the ship, the ship only contains a fraction of the water while the water contains the whole of the ship. Our saturation by God does not merely fill us but also testifies to an ocean we cannot contain...desire for God is born in God."
"In love we desire our beloved, indeed the presence of our beloved is that which sparks the desire. This is because the presence of the one we love testifies to the fact that what we know of them is only a fragment of what is still to be discovered...Augustine said, "For certainly nothing can be loved unless it is known...seeking God is not some provisional activity which precedes the goal of finding, but is itself evidence of having already found."
"Rather than desire being fulfilled in the presence of God, religious desire is born there...consequently a genuine seeking after God is evidence of having found...to seek God for eternal life is to seek eternal life, while to seek God for a meaningful existence is to seek a meaningful existence."
"A true seeking after God results fromn experience of God which one falls in love with for no reason other than finding God irresistably lovable. In this way the lovers of God are the ones who are most passionately in search of God."
While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.
When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. "Why this waste?" they asked. "This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."
Aware of this, Jesus said to them, "Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."
-Matthew
If I don't desire what I choose, I am religious
If I desire what I don't choose, I am spiritual
If I desire what I choose, I am visceral, I am me, I am alive...
I desire
I do not create my desire
I do not create my identity
I do not create the void
I do not create
I am to respond to that which is in me
I am to know that which is in me
I am to follow desire but not obey it
It will lead me to Him
If I don't live in the moment, I live in the past,
If I don't live in the past, I live into the future
If I don't live into the future, where am I living.
I want to be alive past anticipation and reflection.
Jesus knows the future
Jesus knows the past
Jesus is with me now
Jesus is...
Sunday, February 24, 2008
To make a decision or not make a decision...
Lately there has been a lesson that I've been learning. I will turn 29 on Wednesday and I sense that I'm finally realizing that what I choose to do in life is my choice. I understand that God leads us and directs and gives us freedom and yet we somehow end up going in a direction that He leads. In the middle of all of this, I see that our decisions still matter infinitely. Significance isn't found in a position, a title, credentials, your family, your wealth, your years of service, your education, the respect you receive or the people who give it to you. It is found in the decision. Your every decision tells you that you have significance. God gives that to you and in so doing teaches you to take yourself serious and His love and will for your life serious, but it seems that He doesn't lessen our ability to be decision makers. How does that all work within His providence for us. I'm not sure but as I've grown into manhood, I have seen more and more emphasis put on making decisions. It's not only an issue of making good decisions, it goes beyond that into the issue of realizing that every decision matters and they seem to matter more and more.
I heard someone say "After 25, everything matters!" I believe that with the right nuance, that is so true. I just have to look down at my gut to face that. I was always a skinny bean pole as a child and teenager and in the middle of my early twenties, I started to notice how one actually gains weight. I'd never understood it before, but there it was and it had directly to do with my eating habits and lack of exercise. My decision began to matter. I used to be able to eat anything, but not anymore. I see that in all areas of my life increasingly so. God gives grace and allows some things to be covered over but decisions, both good and bad, will bear their own consequences, both good and bad.
That being true, I have also seen that never before has it been more important for me to give grace to myself and increasingly more to others. It's a decision to even receive grace in the midst of my own ugliness, and at times it can be a very difficult to decision to truly receive.
I have the privilege of studying Martin Luther and Jonathan Edwards on Mondays. As far as Luther is concerened, we are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners. We aren't going to become shipwrecked, we are shipwrecked - that changes one's whole approach to life, but how? Good question - that's what life and sanctification is - answering that question.
Jonathan Edwards wrote, "I have affecting views of my own sinfulness and vileness, very frequently to such a decree as to hold me in a kind of loud weeping...so that I have been often obliged to shut myself up. I have had a vastly greater sense of my own wickedness and badness of my heart than ever I had before my conversion... It is affecting to think how ignorant I was, when a young Christian, of the bottomless, infinite depths of wickedness, pride, hypocrisy, and deceit left in my heart."
This was written 20 years after his decision to follow Christ. He said that his heightened awareness of sin results in a "...heart [that] will grow in tenderness." Out of that tenderness flows a profound gratitude to God for His mercy, a thankfulness that can only be expressed through service to Him.
I see that the "choice" is still ours in how we respond. As I journey through this time in my life, I want to see the decisions that I make really reflect what I believe, because if I don't, then I really believe that my decisions don't matter or that it will "all come out in the wash." As much as grace is a reality in all of this, so are my decisions and the weight that they carry. I believe that the more influence I receive, the more stewardship that I'm called to and the more people I am able to lead, the more my decisions will matter and that so, until I die. Whoa! That's a lot to think about, but it's necessary. I guess it's what they call growing up. I think in ages past, a man my age would have been expected to be married, to have a family, a job and a lot more responsibilities. As long as that is put off, I have time to think about all of this and in our culture today, many have a lot more time to think about their major life decisions and daily decisions it seems.
just some musings of mine...
I heard someone say "After 25, everything matters!" I believe that with the right nuance, that is so true. I just have to look down at my gut to face that. I was always a skinny bean pole as a child and teenager and in the middle of my early twenties, I started to notice how one actually gains weight. I'd never understood it before, but there it was and it had directly to do with my eating habits and lack of exercise. My decision began to matter. I used to be able to eat anything, but not anymore. I see that in all areas of my life increasingly so. God gives grace and allows some things to be covered over but decisions, both good and bad, will bear their own consequences, both good and bad.
That being true, I have also seen that never before has it been more important for me to give grace to myself and increasingly more to others. It's a decision to even receive grace in the midst of my own ugliness, and at times it can be a very difficult to decision to truly receive.
I have the privilege of studying Martin Luther and Jonathan Edwards on Mondays. As far as Luther is concerened, we are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners. We aren't going to become shipwrecked, we are shipwrecked - that changes one's whole approach to life, but how? Good question - that's what life and sanctification is - answering that question.
Jonathan Edwards wrote, "I have affecting views of my own sinfulness and vileness, very frequently to such a decree as to hold me in a kind of loud weeping...so that I have been often obliged to shut myself up. I have had a vastly greater sense of my own wickedness and badness of my heart than ever I had before my conversion... It is affecting to think how ignorant I was, when a young Christian, of the bottomless, infinite depths of wickedness, pride, hypocrisy, and deceit left in my heart."
This was written 20 years after his decision to follow Christ. He said that his heightened awareness of sin results in a "...heart [that] will grow in tenderness." Out of that tenderness flows a profound gratitude to God for His mercy, a thankfulness that can only be expressed through service to Him.
I see that the "choice" is still ours in how we respond. As I journey through this time in my life, I want to see the decisions that I make really reflect what I believe, because if I don't, then I really believe that my decisions don't matter or that it will "all come out in the wash." As much as grace is a reality in all of this, so are my decisions and the weight that they carry. I believe that the more influence I receive, the more stewardship that I'm called to and the more people I am able to lead, the more my decisions will matter and that so, until I die. Whoa! That's a lot to think about, but it's necessary. I guess it's what they call growing up. I think in ages past, a man my age would have been expected to be married, to have a family, a job and a lot more responsibilities. As long as that is put off, I have time to think about all of this and in our culture today, many have a lot more time to think about their major life decisions and daily decisions it seems.
just some musings of mine...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
something!
I felt like I should write something, but I'm not sure what to write. I did watch a film called, "trade" the other night about the sex trafficking trade in America and was distraught with the horrible wrongs that take place each and every day in our own country that seem so barabaric and insidious and horrific. I still like telling jokes and laughing but I think it is because I need it more - the more I see the reality of the world we live in. A good dose of the BBC or CNN with some Mr. Bean or the Simpsons and then some Dick Van Dyke to wrap it all up - that must be the good life...
Thursday, February 14, 2008
There must be more!
A faith community gathers to search for God because there must be more. They gather to search alongside each other and some are called to play different roles within the scheme of that search. They want to introduce the world around them to that hunger.
shepherds are there to lead them to where neither of them have been, to lead them to where both of them need to go.
The search for more shouldn’t be led by someone who has the more to offer you. Luther has said that "every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying."
No one can give you enough advice or direction for you to have enough of what is actually “more.” What is more can only be offered by our Savior, by our Father. A pastor who gives too many answers doesn’t lead his people to something more but towards something that he’s already arrived at. There is nothing wrong with teaching what one has come to understand but it shouldn’t be the arrival or point of orientation, it should be the place that helps us on our journey to “more”, both as a community and as individuals. Do you want more, then don’t look for it from a man or a woman and don’t trust a man or a woman in order to lead you there primarily, let your hunger lead you there and don’t be satisfied with what the man or woman offers, but at the same time we must not be against what they are able to do that better enables us and our community to be lead to more. If the question is one of hunger or lack of it, then ask yourself, have I been taught or conditioned to have an appetite for something that is not meant to satisfy my real hunger, like a big plate of rice that fills but only leaves one hungering for true substance all over again. Eventually that plate of rice will lead the person to diabetes and a destructive future in regards to their health - though it does provide a filler for the immediacy that we all desire. Many can't eat anything but rice because they have never been taught or offered fruits, vegetables, meat, a balanced diet or they think it impossible and out of their reach. You can tell them to eat more wheat and fruit, but they will do what is easiest and most available, they will eat rice. We should never be satisfied with what is immediate but only find satisfaction in where ourselves and our community is going as long as it leads to “more.” Not more of what we've been "filling" ourselves with but "more" of what we know in our deepest core will really satisfy. We may not know what that actually looks like or what it is, but we should know that it is "more." I really believe that we are born with an appetite for "more", it may just take some time and some wrestling to find it but I don't want to give up and settle. What about you?
shepherds are there to lead them to where neither of them have been, to lead them to where both of them need to go.
The search for more shouldn’t be led by someone who has the more to offer you. Luther has said that "every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying."
No one can give you enough advice or direction for you to have enough of what is actually “more.” What is more can only be offered by our Savior, by our Father. A pastor who gives too many answers doesn’t lead his people to something more but towards something that he’s already arrived at. There is nothing wrong with teaching what one has come to understand but it shouldn’t be the arrival or point of orientation, it should be the place that helps us on our journey to “more”, both as a community and as individuals. Do you want more, then don’t look for it from a man or a woman and don’t trust a man or a woman in order to lead you there primarily, let your hunger lead you there and don’t be satisfied with what the man or woman offers, but at the same time we must not be against what they are able to do that better enables us and our community to be lead to more. If the question is one of hunger or lack of it, then ask yourself, have I been taught or conditioned to have an appetite for something that is not meant to satisfy my real hunger, like a big plate of rice that fills but only leaves one hungering for true substance all over again. Eventually that plate of rice will lead the person to diabetes and a destructive future in regards to their health - though it does provide a filler for the immediacy that we all desire. Many can't eat anything but rice because they have never been taught or offered fruits, vegetables, meat, a balanced diet or they think it impossible and out of their reach. You can tell them to eat more wheat and fruit, but they will do what is easiest and most available, they will eat rice. We should never be satisfied with what is immediate but only find satisfaction in where ourselves and our community is going as long as it leads to “more.” Not more of what we've been "filling" ourselves with but "more" of what we know in our deepest core will really satisfy. We may not know what that actually looks like or what it is, but we should know that it is "more." I really believe that we are born with an appetite for "more", it may just take some time and some wrestling to find it but I don't want to give up and settle. What about you?
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Been gone!
I haven't blogged in a long time. Most people don't know about my blog because it changed its name due to an effort to make it more accessible - which has left it less acessible. Anywho, I'm still alive and as it has it, I am not an associate pastor at a Church in the area that I'm living in. The Church's name is Life Community Church and it used to be called Cumberland Baptist Church. I never in all my childhood or teenage life or on into my young adult life wanted to or thought I would be a pastor. For me the thought was like wanting to be a Nazi. That is kind of harsh you say - well you're right except that it how distasteful if was for me to think of becoming a pastor and how far I was away from the idea. I had a hard time even imagining myself as one, except in the moments when I pictured myself up in front of a lot of people, yelling at them what I really thought of them. I did that once or twice and found out that people don't like to be yelled at. My journey into the pastorate wasn't a professional choice or a life calling as much as when I was confronted by my own fallenness. You see, I would hear preachers and speakers talk about those who experienced suffering and pain and how the Holy Spirit comforts those people ( I still don't know how that works other than if you really believe it ) and how God forgives sinners, etc... but what I didn't understand or know about was what God did with people who caused pain to others and didn't care at times if they were forgiven or not. I'll be honest, I have felt like that and wondered about what God thought of me in the process. I rarely felt like I did things right, pleased God with my attitude, spent enough time in prayer, Bible reading or silent meditation or was kind to people. As a teenager, I wanted to know what God did with people like me who just felt sinful on a constant basis and didn't feel good enough to be in ministry. It always seemed that I was on the bottom of the barrel when it came to good enough. So, the thought of being a pastor, was the furthest thing from my mind.
Then I heard the most captivating sermon of my life, the sermon that will for all time go down as my favorite sermon of all time. It was a first person narrative of the story of Hosea and Gomer, the prophet who married a prostitute and who loved her even despite her infidelity. I knew what it felt like to be a Gomer and I'd never really heard this part of God preached or taught before. It tore through all the crap of legalism and be "good enough" that I'd been pressured with and taught to believe and showed me the utter depths of God's love because He had gone to the utter depths of my ugly heart - places that even I hadn't gone to. As I've grown and understood how dark my sin really is, I arrive at caverns in my heart that freak me out, places that horror stories are made of - ones that make you sick to your stomach. You know what I found there, little markings on the wall of someone who'd been there already. Footprints and flashes of light that gave me the circumference of the dark caverns of my heart. The deeper I trod through these caverns the more fear I was blanketed with and yet I could see that someone had gone before me - and they weren't lost - they had gone this route on purpose. At one point, I had to stop because the fear and loathing of turning the next corner was too much to handle and yet I could see that the One that had gone ahead of me, had gone still farther. I can only imagine that next time I need to go farther but no matter how far I go, I don't think I'll ever get to the bottom and I know if I did, that One would have been there already.
There's a freedom in knowing that I can traverse the landscape of my life, but the freedom dims when I have to go spalunking into the taverns of my heart where fear is the air I breathe. I can't see, it's pitch black and yet each time I've ventured knowing I needed to go, I've seen that Someone was already there. In that I find comfort. I can only think of Gandalf and his deep righteous voice as it cascaded across the mines of Moria's great hall - "You shall not Pass!" as He unwincingly stared down the Balrog. For that moment there was more strength seen in him than ever before but the real strength was found in what no one saw - when he was leached to the demon and fell into the deepest caverns of the earth where evil exists unheard of and fought the Balrog only to triumph where none had triumphed before. He came out victorious. He had to go there because He was Gandalf. Jesus is my Gandalf, He is my unseen friend in the caverns of my heart - the one who has gone before me and I know no other who could do so or would do so.
Part of being a shepherd for people is leading down the caverns of their hearts to show them how far Jesus really has gone. I've seen the ugliness of my heart, I just wish I hadn't acted it out so much, but my regret is only an ode to forgiveness if it is anything. I can't excuse sin but I don't care if I do at this point because that is not the point. The point is that we all have caverns that we are afraid to descend into, but without the descent, we can't see how far He's really descended for us. Grace has to answer whatever we discover about ourselves. It has to otherwise it is not real. If we are to discover that grace, then we are called to descend at points in our lives - not all the time and not without hope but we are called to descend. I hope that as a shepherd, I may be able to call people not only away from their sin but to face it head on, each difficult step down into their caverns. There, I believe they will find grace - the grace that answers what they fear and eclipses their fear with a warm vat of overflowing goodness, a bath of God's goodness to melt into while the fear dissipates into the cold past. I guess knowing that Christ has gone that far down makes me think of what will call us from the surface. I still like to hang out on the surface where the light is bright and the company feeds my ego, but I know I'm called downward at times. I just don't want to go, so should I repent? If I want grace I'll go.
Then I heard the most captivating sermon of my life, the sermon that will for all time go down as my favorite sermon of all time. It was a first person narrative of the story of Hosea and Gomer, the prophet who married a prostitute and who loved her even despite her infidelity. I knew what it felt like to be a Gomer and I'd never really heard this part of God preached or taught before. It tore through all the crap of legalism and be "good enough" that I'd been pressured with and taught to believe and showed me the utter depths of God's love because He had gone to the utter depths of my ugly heart - places that even I hadn't gone to. As I've grown and understood how dark my sin really is, I arrive at caverns in my heart that freak me out, places that horror stories are made of - ones that make you sick to your stomach. You know what I found there, little markings on the wall of someone who'd been there already. Footprints and flashes of light that gave me the circumference of the dark caverns of my heart. The deeper I trod through these caverns the more fear I was blanketed with and yet I could see that someone had gone before me - and they weren't lost - they had gone this route on purpose. At one point, I had to stop because the fear and loathing of turning the next corner was too much to handle and yet I could see that the One that had gone ahead of me, had gone still farther. I can only imagine that next time I need to go farther but no matter how far I go, I don't think I'll ever get to the bottom and I know if I did, that One would have been there already.
There's a freedom in knowing that I can traverse the landscape of my life, but the freedom dims when I have to go spalunking into the taverns of my heart where fear is the air I breathe. I can't see, it's pitch black and yet each time I've ventured knowing I needed to go, I've seen that Someone was already there. In that I find comfort. I can only think of Gandalf and his deep righteous voice as it cascaded across the mines of Moria's great hall - "You shall not Pass!" as He unwincingly stared down the Balrog. For that moment there was more strength seen in him than ever before but the real strength was found in what no one saw - when he was leached to the demon and fell into the deepest caverns of the earth where evil exists unheard of and fought the Balrog only to triumph where none had triumphed before. He came out victorious. He had to go there because He was Gandalf. Jesus is my Gandalf, He is my unseen friend in the caverns of my heart - the one who has gone before me and I know no other who could do so or would do so.
Part of being a shepherd for people is leading down the caverns of their hearts to show them how far Jesus really has gone. I've seen the ugliness of my heart, I just wish I hadn't acted it out so much, but my regret is only an ode to forgiveness if it is anything. I can't excuse sin but I don't care if I do at this point because that is not the point. The point is that we all have caverns that we are afraid to descend into, but without the descent, we can't see how far He's really descended for us. Grace has to answer whatever we discover about ourselves. It has to otherwise it is not real. If we are to discover that grace, then we are called to descend at points in our lives - not all the time and not without hope but we are called to descend. I hope that as a shepherd, I may be able to call people not only away from their sin but to face it head on, each difficult step down into their caverns. There, I believe they will find grace - the grace that answers what they fear and eclipses their fear with a warm vat of overflowing goodness, a bath of God's goodness to melt into while the fear dissipates into the cold past. I guess knowing that Christ has gone that far down makes me think of what will call us from the surface. I still like to hang out on the surface where the light is bright and the company feeds my ego, but I know I'm called downward at times. I just don't want to go, so should I repent? If I want grace I'll go.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Guilt, sexual failures and missions...
Check out this article that was written from a sermon that John Piper gave at Passion '07 - it used to be titled, "Missions and Masturbation".
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/october/38.72.html
It's premise is that in the sex saturated culture that we live in, so many would-be missionaries are unwilling to engage mission because of past failures with sexual issues. As a growing problem, is there a need to continue the battle and still give yourselves to the dreams that God has put into your heart. I think so...so read on and see what Dr. John has to say.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/october/38.72.html
It's premise is that in the sex saturated culture that we live in, so many would-be missionaries are unwilling to engage mission because of past failures with sexual issues. As a growing problem, is there a need to continue the battle and still give yourselves to the dreams that God has put into your heart. I think so...so read on and see what Dr. John has to say.
A Word from Phyllis
The Future of the Emerging Church
Are we experiencing the next Reformation of Christianity?
Conversations about the future of the emerging church can be overheard at conferences, seminaries, chat rooms, or anywhere church leaders congregate. Does the movement have legs? Does it represent a passing trend or a new Reformation? Not long ago we sat down with author/scholar/editor Phyllis Tickle to discuss the subject. Tickle, a feisty Episcopalian from Tennessee with an intellect matched only by her sense of humor, has served as a religion editor for Publishers Weekly and has written over two dozen books. Her three-volume prayer manual, The Divine Hours, has renewed the discipline of fixed-hour prayer for Christians in many traditions.
What do you see happening to Christianity in the twenty-first century?
Many people have observed a five hundred year cycle in western history—a period of upheaval followed by a period of settling down, then codification, and then upheaval again because we do not like to be codified. So, about every five hundred years the church feels compelled to have a giant rummage sale, and we’re in one of those periods now.
The Reformation was about five hundred years ago. Five hundred before that you hit the Great Schism. Five hundred more was the fall of Rome and the beginning of monasticism. Five hundred before that you hit the Babylonian captivity of the Jews, and five hundred before that was the end of the age of judges and the beginning of the dynasty.
So, how is the current upheaval different from what the church has experienced before?
For the first time we’ve done it in an age of media where we are historically informed and we can perceive the pattern, and for the first time we’ve had the ability to talk to each other, to be self-conscious about what is happening, and be somewhat intentional. This is very exhilarating.
We have a huge responsibility because of what we know. We are seeing the start of a post-Protestant and post-denominational era. Just as Protestantism took the hegemony from Roman Catholicism and Roman Catholicism from the East at the Great Schism, so the emerging church is now taking hegemony from Protestantism.
But would you place the emerging church with Evangelicalism, or it is something else?
No, it’s not evangelicalism. American religion has four, pretty much equally divided, quadrants. Evangelicalism is one of them, charismatic Pentecostalism is another, the old mainline or social just Christians is a third quadrant, and then the liturgicals. And where the quadrants meet in the center there’s a vortex like a whirlpool and they are blending.
So, much of the political energy is evangelical. There’s no question about that. Much of the religious energy is Pentecostal, but that’s combined with the strong ballast of social consciousness and of applied gospel that comes out of the mainline. And into the mix comes the liturgical traditions with the great gifts of the heritage of the church.
And the emerging church is bringing these different elements of the church back together.
The problem has been that since the Reformation belief for most of the people has gone north to the head. The emergents, supposedly, are saying it needs to go south to the heart. I don’t think it needs to go south at all. I think it needs to meet somewhere in the strength of the life—mind, heart, spirit and strength. Belief needs to be incarnated.
The response for the emergents has been to incarnate their beliefs right in their own neighborhoods—and that’s wonderful. They want to live where they worship, that’s great. The problem is that the emerging church does not have enough organization within itself to get beyond the sound of its own voice. Each little cohort is very limited in its impact.
So, how can the emerging church expand its impact?
Right now we’re beginning to see it organizing. It is institutionalizing. We’re building the next model which in five hundred years will be thrown away. But nonetheless, the emerging church has got to find some way to reach out in a coherent and effective way beyond itself.
Starfish vs. the Spider
I just read this on a blog that I'm reading - very intruiging and some stuff that I've thought about more than once. Decentralized movements... OM was definitely one, let me know what you think. Here's the link to the book on Amazon,
http://www.amazon.com/Starfish-Spider-Unstoppable-Leaderless-Organizations/dp/1591841437/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1195674364&sr=1-1
I'm reading a fascinating book that someone recently recommended to me. It is NOT a Christian book. It's a book about an emerging business model written by a couple of Stanford grads, which makes it all the more frustrating. Why is it that the world sometimes recognizes what God is up to far sooner than most believers do? Our religious institution were consistently on the wrong side of creation of democracy, the fight to abolish slavery, the struggle for civil rights and respecting the rights of women, and here's just another example of how they are caught in older forms the world is even reconsidering.
The Starfish and the Spider: The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations describes almost exactly (with one major flaw to be discussed later) how I understand the nature of the early church and what I see to be true in the body of Christ as it functions today in the world. Now, I'm not talking about organized religion here, but people who really have a heart for God and his work in the world.
The spider represents traditional organizations with CEOs, hierarchical structures and heavy top-down management. If you cut off the head of a spider it dies. The starfish, however, represents decentralized communities that are far more effective and resilient. If you cut off the leg of a starfish, it will just grow a new one, and the leg itself will grow into another starfish. The starfish has no centralized brain, it is a system of neural networks that work together.
Granted the subtitle is a bit misleading. The authors aren't really talking about leaderless organizations, but decentralized ones. Citing examples like Alcoholics Anonymous, Craigslist, Wikipedia, eMule, and others, they describe the power of individuals working together in ways that create incredible resources with surprising results:
This book is about what happens when on one is in charge. It's about what happens when there's no hierarchy. You'd think there would be disorder, even chaos. But in many arenas, alack of traditional leadership is giving rise to powerful groups that are turning industry and society upside down. (p. 5)
These starfish communities have tremendous power because they are not bogged down by the needs of an institution that compromise the values of the community itself. The contributions of the individuals who share a common passion are having far more impact than conventional institutional models. These communities prize relationship, engender trust, and pursue a purpose that transcends financial reward. One of the best discussions in this book is how leadership functions in these communities. They are not managers, but catalysts to ignite a passion in others and help them live it out. What the authors describe for a catalyst comes a close to the teachings of Jesus and the examples of the apostles in the New Testament as anything I've read before. They work behind the scenes, empower others, help people connect in circles of relationships, and never try to ensure that everything is orderly and certain. And what's best, they never want to be in charge themselves, knowing how to work themselves out of the picture as others flourish.
They are much better at being agents of change than guardians of tradition. Catalysts do well in situations that call for radical change and creative thinking. They bring innovation, but they are likely to create a certain amount of chaos and ambiguity. Put them in a structured environment and they might suffocate. But let them dream, and they will thrive. (p. 131)
The Starfish and the Spider discusses the unique power of the Internet to allow these kinds of starfish communities to flourish. And, yes, these people are motivated by their self-interest. Imagine these decentralized communities, however, where people are functioning in the interest of Jesus himself. What this business model leaves out, of course, is the place of Jesus as the sole Head of his church that can never be destroyed. Imagine how the body of Christ could arise in our day if we experienced the power of these decentralized communities as people who are all listening and responding to him.
The world is now discovering the power of decentralized organizations in a way that we could have been living for 2000 years. I'm sure many believers did in those past generations, but unfortunately the powers of religion have always gravitated toward heavily authoritarian, centralized models as a means to amass riches and power. I love that so many of us are now discovering a different approach to life as the body of Christ that liberates us from the repressive institutions that destroy people to the freedom to demonstrate who he truly is in the world.
If that's your passion, this book will show you just how powerfully it can happen. And if the business world can do it without Jesus, how much more powerful would it be for a community of people to live and work together like that who have surrendered their lives to Someone far greater than themselves. Maybe it’s time more of us embraced a new way of seeing the community of believers and how they can function in the world.
http://www.amazon.com/Starfish-Spider-Unstoppable-Leaderless-Organizations/dp/1591841437/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1195674364&sr=1-1
I'm reading a fascinating book that someone recently recommended to me. It is NOT a Christian book. It's a book about an emerging business model written by a couple of Stanford grads, which makes it all the more frustrating. Why is it that the world sometimes recognizes what God is up to far sooner than most believers do? Our religious institution were consistently on the wrong side of creation of democracy, the fight to abolish slavery, the struggle for civil rights and respecting the rights of women, and here's just another example of how they are caught in older forms the world is even reconsidering.
The Starfish and the Spider: The Unstoppable Power of Leaderless Organizations describes almost exactly (with one major flaw to be discussed later) how I understand the nature of the early church and what I see to be true in the body of Christ as it functions today in the world. Now, I'm not talking about organized religion here, but people who really have a heart for God and his work in the world.
The spider represents traditional organizations with CEOs, hierarchical structures and heavy top-down management. If you cut off the head of a spider it dies. The starfish, however, represents decentralized communities that are far more effective and resilient. If you cut off the leg of a starfish, it will just grow a new one, and the leg itself will grow into another starfish. The starfish has no centralized brain, it is a system of neural networks that work together.
Granted the subtitle is a bit misleading. The authors aren't really talking about leaderless organizations, but decentralized ones. Citing examples like Alcoholics Anonymous, Craigslist, Wikipedia, eMule, and others, they describe the power of individuals working together in ways that create incredible resources with surprising results:
This book is about what happens when on one is in charge. It's about what happens when there's no hierarchy. You'd think there would be disorder, even chaos. But in many arenas, alack of traditional leadership is giving rise to powerful groups that are turning industry and society upside down. (p. 5)
These starfish communities have tremendous power because they are not bogged down by the needs of an institution that compromise the values of the community itself. The contributions of the individuals who share a common passion are having far more impact than conventional institutional models. These communities prize relationship, engender trust, and pursue a purpose that transcends financial reward. One of the best discussions in this book is how leadership functions in these communities. They are not managers, but catalysts to ignite a passion in others and help them live it out. What the authors describe for a catalyst comes a close to the teachings of Jesus and the examples of the apostles in the New Testament as anything I've read before. They work behind the scenes, empower others, help people connect in circles of relationships, and never try to ensure that everything is orderly and certain. And what's best, they never want to be in charge themselves, knowing how to work themselves out of the picture as others flourish.
They are much better at being agents of change than guardians of tradition. Catalysts do well in situations that call for radical change and creative thinking. They bring innovation, but they are likely to create a certain amount of chaos and ambiguity. Put them in a structured environment and they might suffocate. But let them dream, and they will thrive. (p. 131)
The Starfish and the Spider discusses the unique power of the Internet to allow these kinds of starfish communities to flourish. And, yes, these people are motivated by their self-interest. Imagine these decentralized communities, however, where people are functioning in the interest of Jesus himself. What this business model leaves out, of course, is the place of Jesus as the sole Head of his church that can never be destroyed. Imagine how the body of Christ could arise in our day if we experienced the power of these decentralized communities as people who are all listening and responding to him.
The world is now discovering the power of decentralized organizations in a way that we could have been living for 2000 years. I'm sure many believers did in those past generations, but unfortunately the powers of religion have always gravitated toward heavily authoritarian, centralized models as a means to amass riches and power. I love that so many of us are now discovering a different approach to life as the body of Christ that liberates us from the repressive institutions that destroy people to the freedom to demonstrate who he truly is in the world.
If that's your passion, this book will show you just how powerfully it can happen. And if the business world can do it without Jesus, how much more powerful would it be for a community of people to live and work together like that who have surrendered their lives to Someone far greater than themselves. Maybe it’s time more of us embraced a new way of seeing the community of believers and how they can function in the world.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Laptop for Every Child
Check out this link for a gift to give to the world. www.laptopgiving.org If you donate before November 26th you not only give one to a child in a developing nation but you will also receive one for your own child. We are blessed to be a blessing!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
The Muslim diaspora
If you want to go, many don't!
If you think you should go, many won't
If you have to go, many can't
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Ex Cathedra
You said go, and I say no
You said believe and I just don't know
You said come and I just want to stay
I feel so stuck in this space today.
Speak Ex Cathedra over my soul
Speak all you want to into my whole
Speak Ex Cathedra into my me
Speak as you can do without bound'ry
I'm stuck here today
I just want to stay
but you're building a bridge
Over my bay
And my tears will stop on the day we walk
You'll Speak Ex Cathedra; I'll listen, I won't talk
Sunday, November 04, 2007
www.nathanbsmith.blogspot.com
Greetings from Chicago! I have been out of touch lately because of some problems with my blog. I have named it www.nathanbsmith.blogspot.com and no longer www.nathanbarrett7.blogspot.com. I am sorry with the delay but there was something wrong with the forwarding configuration so I've had to revise. The other address that will bring you to this page is www.nathanbsmith.com. I will be posting much more often now that I have fixed the problem but it won't be because of travel since I am in Chicago now and will be here for some time. Currently I am again at school studying for my Master's of Divinity and working on my second year. I look forward to this next 2 1/2 years to finish and am incredibly thankful for how God has provided as I have come back in faith and have not spent a single dime of my own on books or tuition and the LORD has provided a living situation with my aunt and uncle for free as long as I am in school. He again provides faithfully. I am tentatively involved very heavily in my studies and will be going home for Christmas after not being home for 1 1/2 years. My nieces and nephew will be there with Darrell and Kelsie, sister and brother-in-law. I will get to see all of my friends from home and will also spend some time with Phil and Ruth Nellis in Seattle when I fly in as well as be able to connect with T.J. and Heidi Hahn who are ministering in Oregon. I look forward to what's ahead and am thankful to the LORD for this time of slowing down and refueling for the journey with my studies. Blessings!
Be my everything...
Be a mentor with selflessness
Be my famous friend
Be my idolatry
Be my closest most genuine perfectly loyal and gracious companion
Be my never wrong parent of perfection
Be my other half that takes responsibility for my faults
Be my lover without consequences
Be my immediacy
Be my depth and longing for authenticity
Be the one who I fantasize would die for me
Be on time
Be mine
Be my eulogy
Be my everything
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