I’d rather eat crumbs at your table
Than feast at their plate.
When will the lost come in?
They say come before it’s too late
I’d rather beat drums of my ancestors
Than play that piano of hate
When will our hearts break for them?
They say it has to be their fate.
We’re all hungry for world peace
But they’d rather hold onto the pie
Instead of just their own piece.
I see brokenness everywhere
The stench of a painful wound that’s bare
I see beauty in somebody else’s hair
But beauty is not plenty enough to share.
I’d rather eat crumbs at your table
Than feast at their plate of fable
When will the lost come in?
“I wish we’d all been ready”
Sounds more like a manipulation
I want to go down with this ship
I’m not the captain but you created it
It’s a lie to think that we can leave
Just because we’re regenerate
When will our hearts break for the breaking of it?
Because mountains are hearing the voice of the eagle returning
The sand hears the stream that’s yearning
The well has the wealth of a sky’s sharp burning
And they say that’s it a good time
Because the eagles, they’re returning
I’d rather eat the crumbs from your table
Than feast at the plate of our fable
Because the eagles they’re returning
Written by Nathan (sort of)
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
explanacion
Greetings to readers!
My latest posts have been heavy as a friend has pointed out and though my friend doesn't think that it's wrong to write, my friend did say that I should write something a little more lighter next time. I don't think about how light or heavy the stuff I write is - I just have been writing from my heart lately and even though it may not be agreeable to some, I'm figuring it all out. I only ask that you do not be patient with me, patronize me or pass it off as a rebellious phase that never got to grow up. If any of those are true or needed, it will become clear eventually. I am committed to following a man who used cynicism with harshness and abusive language, loving language and kindness with truth and it was all with a profound wisdom that knew there was a time for everything under the sun. More than anything else it was his words that got him nailed to the cross. I don't ever want to project my image of Christ as having more to do with me than actually who he is, but as we all do at times, I know I have and I know I will. It's part of our identification with him and is a necessary process in order to find the true Christ and our true selves. John Calvin said in the introduction to his Institutes, that as we discover who God is, we discover ourselves and vice versa - the two cannot be separated - they happen organically together at the same time. So as I search my self out and find out who this guy is through the years and search out the person of the Trinity, Christ will help me see more of who I really am and who He is. That's a messy process but I'd rather get as far along in the process and deal with the mess openly than hide it than follow a worn path of security that leads in circles around myself. I want to break trail and take each step onto the soil of my soul, soil that has never been traversed or touched and yet has an anxious longing groan to be discovered, waiting for me to be revealed to me and to the world.
That's a metaphor but with where I feel like God is taking me, I can't know where it will be next, therefore metaphors help me explain something I don't know much about, but it is more real to me than most things are. I just know that I need to leave a lot of where I came from to find it and like a man who searches - his first home is never really his home anymore - he needs to make a new home.
I will write lightly at times, but it will never be forced or from pressure on the outside or inside. I am writing...and will continue to do so. If what I write resonates with you, please be careful with how resonation raptures the conscience with the soul at times, but it's your soul and your conscience, no one elses. If what I write offends you, there are a lot of blogs out there but if you don't mind the offense, please write to me and let me know why, but only if you truly want to hear back from me. If you'd rather just unload upon me - I understand - but one person can't absorb that much anger - spread it out, see a counselor (I do, it's pretty helpful), talk to your friends, write a book, but please don't unload on one person - we're not made with the constitution to absorb that much - only Christ is.
Thank you for your visit and please come again - but please know that this isn't a McBlog - It isn't a franchise and there's very little predictability, though there is nothing wrong with ritual, tradition and fixed expectations as long as they bow out to what they can't account for or control, not bow down to, just bow out to. The stage belongs to the world.
Sincerely and sorrowfully,
Nathan Smith
My latest posts have been heavy as a friend has pointed out and though my friend doesn't think that it's wrong to write, my friend did say that I should write something a little more lighter next time. I don't think about how light or heavy the stuff I write is - I just have been writing from my heart lately and even though it may not be agreeable to some, I'm figuring it all out. I only ask that you do not be patient with me, patronize me or pass it off as a rebellious phase that never got to grow up. If any of those are true or needed, it will become clear eventually. I am committed to following a man who used cynicism with harshness and abusive language, loving language and kindness with truth and it was all with a profound wisdom that knew there was a time for everything under the sun. More than anything else it was his words that got him nailed to the cross. I don't ever want to project my image of Christ as having more to do with me than actually who he is, but as we all do at times, I know I have and I know I will. It's part of our identification with him and is a necessary process in order to find the true Christ and our true selves. John Calvin said in the introduction to his Institutes, that as we discover who God is, we discover ourselves and vice versa - the two cannot be separated - they happen organically together at the same time. So as I search my self out and find out who this guy is through the years and search out the person of the Trinity, Christ will help me see more of who I really am and who He is. That's a messy process but I'd rather get as far along in the process and deal with the mess openly than hide it than follow a worn path of security that leads in circles around myself. I want to break trail and take each step onto the soil of my soul, soil that has never been traversed or touched and yet has an anxious longing groan to be discovered, waiting for me to be revealed to me and to the world.
That's a metaphor but with where I feel like God is taking me, I can't know where it will be next, therefore metaphors help me explain something I don't know much about, but it is more real to me than most things are. I just know that I need to leave a lot of where I came from to find it and like a man who searches - his first home is never really his home anymore - he needs to make a new home.
I will write lightly at times, but it will never be forced or from pressure on the outside or inside. I am writing...and will continue to do so. If what I write resonates with you, please be careful with how resonation raptures the conscience with the soul at times, but it's your soul and your conscience, no one elses. If what I write offends you, there are a lot of blogs out there but if you don't mind the offense, please write to me and let me know why, but only if you truly want to hear back from me. If you'd rather just unload upon me - I understand - but one person can't absorb that much anger - spread it out, see a counselor (I do, it's pretty helpful), talk to your friends, write a book, but please don't unload on one person - we're not made with the constitution to absorb that much - only Christ is.
Thank you for your visit and please come again - but please know that this isn't a McBlog - It isn't a franchise and there's very little predictability, though there is nothing wrong with ritual, tradition and fixed expectations as long as they bow out to what they can't account for or control, not bow down to, just bow out to. The stage belongs to the world.
Sincerely and sorrowfully,
Nathan Smith
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
To take a knee (careful this one has bad words and images in it)
When asked by a very smart and moral theologian what I believe and how I can back it up, I said,
“I claim the 5th and ignorance - except that stupid people are really intelligence masked behind the carnival mirror of innocence and the projection screen of Naivetéwood - the place where dreams come true, magic is made and the little man can become the big man only to realize that those dreams and that magic are really just stupid and that “I didn’t know [hm, hm, hm] would be so small” and “being big doesn’t matter” – because “that’s what she said...”
Big pimpin,’
Nathancito
p.s. because what the world needs now is love, loads of it, craploads of it and we think we is dah only ones who can get it, give it and then own it because we is it?.... It is really weird when a human puts the #@$& from a bull in their mouth and then like wants you to ignore the smell and just put a close pin on your nose while they sling their feces of faith on your face and on your clothes - like you wanted to be there to begin with. Somebody hand me a napkin and give that dude a breath mint... oh crap, I was speaking metaphors and forgot to remember that we all need to carry napkins and breath mints, so pick your favorite flavor because you got it for life, just ask your wife and don’t forget to listen to what “she said.”
Remember that it’s not really size of the rudder but the motion in the ocean that gets the boat to the udder side. So when He says "let's go to the other side", He really means, "wake me up when we get there." So I guess we don’t really need “bigger” people – just more people who love big, no matter how big you is. That’s what she said – mother Theresa that is, but she said it because He said it – Jesus that is, oh we of little faith. Some say "Go big or go home," but Jesus says, "go big until I bring you home and don't worry, I ain't really sleepin'."
WWJD – tell you to take the #@&$ out of your mouth, make some fuel for your foreign friends without faces. Feces can actually be useful when it doesn’t come out of my mouth or your mouth – it’s disgusting to picture that but it’s even more disgusting that it’s true, but you're right, I have no right to hate the playa or the game, I just want us to stop playing games. Sorry for the obvious digression – it just helps me to recognize our oblivious oppression and as Jay-z pleads, “Lord, forgive me for my brash delivery, but I remember vividly what these streets did to me, so picture me, let these clowns knitpick at me, paint me like a picaney...” – what’s a pickaney, I don’t know, but I do know that when we all confess and finally take a knee, the top of your head will be level with everybody as well as me, and everybody means everybody – not just eazin'-jello-coal Christianity. Please, quit acting like the referee, it's time to take a knee, look up and see that the only one left standing is the Coach.
written by Nathan (sort of)
“The Best way to waste your life... is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for details. Report.. Don’t participate...”
-Chuck Palahniuk
“The neurosis in which the search for safety takes its clearest form is in the compulsive-obsessive neurosis. Compulsive-obsessive to frantically order and stabilize the world so that no unmanageable, unexpected or unfamiliar dangers will ever appear.”
-Abraham Maslow
“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
-mother Theresa
"Right, birds can fly so high and they can #$%@ on your head, yeah, they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared but when you look at them and you see that they’re beautiful, that’s how I feel about you."
-Kate Nash
“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Carl W. Buechner
“What you perceive, your observations, feelings, interpretations, are all your truth. Your truth is important. Yet it is not the Truth.”
-Linda Ellinor
"What you have done unto the least of these, you have done it unto me!"
-Jesus
“I claim the 5th and ignorance - except that stupid people are really intelligence masked behind the carnival mirror of innocence and the projection screen of Naivetéwood - the place where dreams come true, magic is made and the little man can become the big man only to realize that those dreams and that magic are really just stupid and that “I didn’t know [hm, hm, hm] would be so small” and “being big doesn’t matter” – because “that’s what she said...”
Big pimpin,’
Nathancito
p.s. because what the world needs now is love, loads of it, craploads of it and we think we is dah only ones who can get it, give it and then own it because we is it?.... It is really weird when a human puts the #@$& from a bull in their mouth and then like wants you to ignore the smell and just put a close pin on your nose while they sling their feces of faith on your face and on your clothes - like you wanted to be there to begin with. Somebody hand me a napkin and give that dude a breath mint... oh crap, I was speaking metaphors and forgot to remember that we all need to carry napkins and breath mints, so pick your favorite flavor because you got it for life, just ask your wife and don’t forget to listen to what “she said.”
Remember that it’s not really size of the rudder but the motion in the ocean that gets the boat to the udder side. So when He says "let's go to the other side", He really means, "wake me up when we get there." So I guess we don’t really need “bigger” people – just more people who love big, no matter how big you is. That’s what she said – mother Theresa that is, but she said it because He said it – Jesus that is, oh we of little faith. Some say "Go big or go home," but Jesus says, "go big until I bring you home and don't worry, I ain't really sleepin'."
WWJD – tell you to take the #@&$ out of your mouth, make some fuel for your foreign friends without faces. Feces can actually be useful when it doesn’t come out of my mouth or your mouth – it’s disgusting to picture that but it’s even more disgusting that it’s true, but you're right, I have no right to hate the playa or the game, I just want us to stop playing games. Sorry for the obvious digression – it just helps me to recognize our oblivious oppression and as Jay-z pleads, “Lord, forgive me for my brash delivery, but I remember vividly what these streets did to me, so picture me, let these clowns knitpick at me, paint me like a picaney...” – what’s a pickaney, I don’t know, but I do know that when we all confess and finally take a knee, the top of your head will be level with everybody as well as me, and everybody means everybody – not just eazin'-jello-coal Christianity. Please, quit acting like the referee, it's time to take a knee, look up and see that the only one left standing is the Coach.
written by Nathan (sort of)
“The Best way to waste your life... is by taking notes. The easiest way to avoid living is to just watch. Look for details. Report.. Don’t participate...”
-Chuck Palahniuk
“The neurosis in which the search for safety takes its clearest form is in the compulsive-obsessive neurosis. Compulsive-obsessive to frantically order and stabilize the world so that no unmanageable, unexpected or unfamiliar dangers will ever appear.”
-Abraham Maslow
“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”
-mother Theresa
"Right, birds can fly so high and they can #$%@ on your head, yeah, they can almost fly into your eye and make you feel so scared but when you look at them and you see that they’re beautiful, that’s how I feel about you."
-Kate Nash
“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Carl W. Buechner
“What you perceive, your observations, feelings, interpretations, are all your truth. Your truth is important. Yet it is not the Truth.”
-Linda Ellinor
"What you have done unto the least of these, you have done it unto me!"
-Jesus
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