Douche-bags, Anger and Ill Intention

"Young Rich and Tasteless...."

After watching Shrek for the first time and then hearing Kanye's music for the first time - shortly after, I knew I was home.

Cry on your shoulder or not, I am what George Verwer calls a "natural bad guy."  The problem is that justice isn't only for the nice guys and so I don't want to be the bad guy to the extent that justice is ignored.  Makes me sound like a sanctified badass - and of course that makes me sound like I'm better than you and that....well....I guess I could keep trying to slip just far enough away from the grip of indictment but that's the truth.  I don't like to admit I'm wrong when you tell me the truth unless I have some control over it.  

Some have taken that statement and nailed me to a cross and used my words as the nails (cross imagery for effect) but either way, communicating, as a person who doesn't like to take the blame, with people who don't like to take the blame is a tough and complicated act.  

I've been reflecting on anger and intention lately.  I'm 31 now and have had enough BS take place in my life at the hands of other people that there is enough material to write a book.  My guess is that for the average person - by the time they are in their 30s - they've had their share of being treated poorly by the Douche-bags.  I realized that with all of the crap done to me, I can have a pretty robust pity session almost every day.  Most of those pity sessions quickly turn into angry thoughts and douche-bags start showing up in my mind from all over the place, friends, enemies, teachers, ex's, pastors, bullies, church people, family, co-workers, mean random people on the street, bosses, politicians, etc...  I've got so much material to complain about - it would require no effort at all to spend at least an hour or two each day thinking about what wrong has been done to me.  

But lately, my wife and I have been learning about how complicated people's intentions actually are.  I am more convinced than ever before that most people who wrong me don't actually do it with direct, intentional, 1st degree malevolence.  Most wrongs done (at least 4 out of 5) are done either because of lack of intention or good intention rather than ill intention.  Now, there are many different kinds of intentions that we could add but these three seem to make the top of the list.  

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions" someone once said.  Have you heard yourself or someone else ever say - "But my intention wasn't to...." and yet you still ended up hurting someone or doing something harmful.  Sometimes when we are hyper-intentional about one motivation which is good, then we neglect other motivations and actions that would also be necessary which ends in conflict of some sort.  Will we ever get away from this problem.  

What about lack of intention - so many problems happen because of this issue - lack of intention or as it is otherwise known - indifference.  Indifference can be for many reasons but many times, the few wrongs committed intentionally were preceded and followed by indifference from so many others surrounding the wrong committed.  What about mentally ill individuals who' commit wrongs that they do when not in their right mind.  What do we do with our condemning finger when they produce such destruction with their actions or words and yet they can't be fully culpable for their decision.

I am more and more convinced that with all these complexities and the way human nature works - that we are prone as humans to look for ill intention regardless of whether it is there or not.  It brings us a source of comfort to know the "why" of suffering and pain so that we can pull out the infamous index and point it squarely at the perpetrator.  Does this need to happen sometimes - YES - does it need to happen the majority of the time - NO.  

This makes me think that God must already know this and have a way of dealing with "sin" in such a way that would recognize that ill intention isn't the source of most of the destruction in the world (although it is involved to some degree).  We as humans would like to think it is most of the time but I don't think that's the case.  What then do we do with all of that anger and desire for justice if we can't nail it down on ill intention.  I think it begins by realizing that brokenness is complicated and that our brokenness, or what others might call sin, has an inverted desire to implicate all sin as ill intended - a desire produced by the very brokenness that it condemns.  We are all prone to retribution - an innate natural desire for punitive justice.

There's a lot more to say from this point on... but instead, I'd like to finish with a toast to the Douche-bags -

And I always find, yeah, I always find somethin' wrong

You been puttin' up wit' my #*@! just way too long

I'm so gifted at findin' what I don't like the most

So I think it's time for us to have a toast

Let's have a toast for the douchebags,

Let's have a toast for the @#*holes,

Let's have a toast for the scumbags,

Every one of them that I know

Let's have a toast to the jerkoffs

That'll never take work off

Baby, I got a plan

Run away fast as you can

2010 MTV Video Music Awards - More VMA Video

GO JAKE

Did the Ancient Israelites Drink Beer?

An article in Biblical Archaeology Review just reported some stunning and promising findings about the good nectar.  Check it out here at www.bib-arch.org.  Did the Jews drink He-brew beer?

Legendary

How do you read Brian McLaren - nerves, brain cells or both?

Brian McLaren... - now what does that name do to you?  It produces some very strong emotions in many directions for a lot of people.  It is a name that cannot be ignored in America and now many parts of the world.

A friend of mine has been reading his latest book, A New Kind of Christianity, and now I've just picked up - The Secret Message of Jesus as an audio book and have listened to the first hour.  I read A Generous Orthodoxy back in 2004 and was deeply impacted by his message. What I find so interesting is that when you look at the Amazon reviews - there are almost as many with a 1 star rating as there are with a 5 star rating. with a few in-between.

What strikes me is that most of the 5 and 1 star people don't seem to be balanced - either Brian is loved or hated.  Very little credibility is given to him or none at all by the 1 star commentators and very little criticism is offered by the 5 star people - or none at all.  I guess what I'm most struck by is that Brian's work touches nerves more than brain cells.  The brains do respond but the nerves are where the journey begins.  More than most authors I've read - he either makes me feel like I have arrived home after such a long absence to a loving father who understands my heart and will support me no matter what I have or haven't done.  Or I respond with immediate disdain - trying to dismiss him as quickly as possible either in quiet rage or projecting that I haven't really been affected by him when really I can't get my nerves to settle down or get him off my mind.  When asked about him or when I hear his name mentioned, I give way to quick responses that are tell-tale signs of my indignation and antagonism towards him - some of which I can't understand myself.

Nerves are funny things - they do things to us that we can't always control - like knee jerk reactions or triggers from a painful past or protective impulses ranging from maternal sources to rage-induced reactions.  They also cause our hearts to warm and condescend, to remove normal everyday boundaries for the benefit of the other, to be attracted to someone or something that we know will only get us in trouble or to someone that we can't get out of our head.  They make us perform the infamous Freudian slip and cause us to avoid imminent danger.  They are neither foe nor friend, but can produce the most frustrating experiences while also revealing the content of what is actually in our hearts - good, bad, indifferent or conventional.  In short, they are part and parcel of how we respond whether we want to or not and as a result, they can't be controlled or ignored.

There are very few people who can speak, write, influence or create with the capacity to have these kinds of responses but they are out there.  Generally, they shift to one side of the spectrum or the other and fight vigorously for their corner.  Many turn into ardent propagandists while others into gurus.  Some are responsible with their ability while others use it to destroy their opponents or to elevate themselves or both.  It is a rare gift.  These kind of people don't write, speak, act, influence, etc... to only convince others - they do what they do to perform, to produce a reaction, to provoke a response.  In short - they are master manipulators.

Manipulation - we attach so much to this word that it doesn't deserve.  Manipulation unto itself is amoral.  It is neither wrong nor right to manipulate.  Manipulation happens all the time - parents do it to their children, teachers to their pupils, government officials to their constituencies, sergeants to their new recruits, boys to girls and girls to boys, and so on and so forth.  Manipulation is not wrong, but because it is so powerful and effective and doing what it does, it can be overtly or deceptively destructive or life giving and honorable.  Manipulation is a critical aspect of communication, education, rhetoric and apprenticeship.  Some are masters while other will remain novices.  Once one knows they have the ability to manipulate in a gifted capacity - power comes into their scope that they otherwise wouldn't have had and though they be poor, come from ignoble stock or have very little established clout - they all of the sudden realize a level of influence that is afforded to them just by being themselves.  It is a dangerous gift - one that needs wisdom, tutelage and the presence of grounded and wisdom-filled examples.

Who else in history has had this gift?  Many have - some using it for their own good, others for profit and still others for the good of the Other.  Jesus was one such person.  He was a master manipulator but all that he did in that capacity was done for the good of the Other.  He produced reactions of all sorts in people of all walks of life and each time it happened, a little bit of who they were, hidden in the recesses of their hearts, would be exposed to the world around them and to themselves and they would be seen for who they really were.  Without masks - people either respond with exuberant thankfulness and freedom or anger and ambivalence towards the one unmasking.  In Jesus life, no one was left untouched after listening to him, walking with him or observing him.  Much more could be said in this regard but I guess you see where I may be going.

Brian McLaren has this ability and though some would produce arguments to disagree, undermine and deride him - what they don't realize is that he is not writing for their brains but their nerves.  As I consider his teachings, I realize that I too have had my nerves frazzled a bit, but our response to him, though it will require reasoning and dialogue will also require the wisdom of how to respond in accordance with someone who has the ability to uncover our hearts.

This is not magic or supernatural - it is a gift given to Brian by God.  How he stewards that gift is his responsibility.  How we do or don't respond to him is ours.  It will reveal to others (as well us to ourselves) more about the content and status of our hearts than what we think may actually be there.  None of us should be surprised, but we will be.  So for the record I try to read Brian McLaren with with nerves and brain cells or at least I try to recognize that's what's happening whether I like it or not - how do you read him?